Sunday, March 23, 2008
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I Also Harrass Telemarketers.
I hate it when parents ask who's calling in that infuriating I'm-trying-way-too-hard-to-be-polite-when-I-really-suspect-you-of-being-a-drug-dealer way. I'm always tempted to tell them I am a 47 year old man named Frank who lives with his laptop Charlene in his mother's basement and spends his days trying to convince unsuspecting young girls into taking off their tops on webcam, and would you PLEASE let me speak with your daughter? But I think they would probably hang up on me, so I just say "It's Shoshana." all fake and honey-sweet, hoping my voice is radiating youthful innocence and joi de vivre.
Why they feel the need to ask who I am is beyond me. I mean, I'm pretty sure I sound like a typical teenage girl. If a typical teenage girl is asking to speak with your typical teenage daughter, chances are the person on the phone is neither drug dealer nor internet predator.
I guess you never know though. Maybe it's all an act. Maybe I'm just waiting for the right moment to sneak into your suburban mansion with Charlene here and slip little Betty some crack.
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Comments (14)
Whenever my family picks up the phone they just pick it up and stay completely silent. So on the other end all you notice is that the phone suddenly stops ringing, and if you don't say anything for a good couple of seconds, they just hang up on you. It's the same deal with caller ID. If they don't particularly like you, they just neglect to pick up the phone. ...I think I have an aunt Charlene.
Did you rhyme the last two lines on purpose?
Haha! Very very true! Yes, you do have to sound full of joi de vivre and what not... It's just annoying when people act like they don't like you. It's even more annoying when they truly don't like you, it just makes you not like them back. It just spreads hate and causes war and famine. :)
mmm...betty.
ryc: thank you. naw, i don't know no betty. i was just yankin' your chain. found your site through somewhereinthebetween. he's pretty cool. do you know him in the...real life thing?
no. no i don't. which is probably good. i hear he's a jerk in real life. ;)
i thought it was common knowledge? or was it you that told me....
*runs away*
aw, stop that. you're not a jerk. you're just hot. and full of yourself. :P
well no...but i mean...your username implies you're all that, right?
hmmm?
okay. but not the wasabe part. ;)
maybe you're *like* wasabi.
Have you ever read anything by Augusten Burroughs?
Thanks!
I asked because he has written a lot of memoirs, and in Magical Thinking, he talks about harrassing telemarketers and it pretty hilarious and obscene.
heh, what did you do this time?
ryc: Thanks. I'm pretty sure he was laughing his ass off at our whole family in his heaven or whatever. They couldn't get the normal priest for his service, so he got their black visiting priest from Nicaragua who gave a homily with an accent no one could understand.