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progurllisa
read my profile sign my guestbook Name: Lisa Birthday: 12/9/1985 Gender: Female Occupation: Medical Industry: Other Message: message me Website: visit my website Member Since: 3/10/2006

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someday my prince will come.
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mICHAEL jACKSON rOCKS!!!
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~*~Broken-Heart~*~
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Michael Jackson is innocent
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Beautiful In This Skin
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I <3 James Blunt
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Posting Calendar

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Friday, June 08, 2007

fINALLY hAPPY

Well What can i say. I know its been quite awhile sense i have written anything. All I can say is life has been more wonderul, more fulfilling, and its leading to a wonderful path. To start off, I got the one thing i wanted most, love from the man I love. In April, Aryo came out to florida to see me and meet my family. He asked me back and of course i never hesitated to say no. We are really happy now. Now we are planning on seeing eachother in August, cant wait :D im really excited. We are gonna be going to Vegas, which will be wonderful. I am still the nanny, which i dont mind, im just trying to save up so i can head out to cali. I think my goal date to leave here is january 08 with a couple friends. I really hope it happens. Well im just gonna leave it at that. I am happy, I am wonderful.

1:33 PM - 1 view - 4 eprops - 3 comments - email it

Monday, February 05, 2007

you know who you are

this is for you cause i know that you are the only one that reads my journal. Im gonna pour my heart out for the very last time. I MISS YOU. Every single day, life is a constant reminder of you. being alive, breathing, talking, it all comes down to you because i feel a deep connection with you that makes me believe my purpose in life was to be with you. I wont lie, i cry all the time. The pain i feel is just unmanagable and it kills me each day. This love i have for you is strong, and comes from somewhere special. Honestly, i cannot imagine a life without you. i was miserable before you entered my life and now i am even more miserable cause you have stepped away. The happiest i hvae ever been was with you. I have never felt so loved, never laughed so much, never blushed or smiled and never felt real and comfortable with myself untill i was with you. you made me laugh every day, you made me look forward to waking up and just hearing your voice can get me through anything. now just imagine how i am without any of that. and it doesnt matter if someone else tried to do those things for me, they wont succeed cause they dont have my heart, you do. we were brought together for a reason, we are on eachother's minds constantly for a reason, we waited our whole lives to do the things we did cause it was right and it perfect and cause there was a purpose for it all. I'd hate to see it be torn away. i honestly never thought that distance could break apart something so perfect because to be honest, its just a small problem that can be handled as time passes. i rather see you once in awhile than not see you at all. i rather do this than be distant and not talk and as time passes we go our seperate ways and will always wonder and regret "what could have been?". And i wont lie, i was seriously scared at first, i thought to myself "this is too much, its gonna all fail, im not use to this, no one has cared for me like he does" and i was gonna walk away from it all. But i realised we gone this far, why quit now? But instead you beat me to it and walked away. which i understand your reasons. im not blaming you. This is how i feel though. other people have major issues like cheating and lieing and so much more and what we had was perfect. like i said, just a distance thing that can be resolved as time passes and in the mean time, we would see eachother still. it would be a sacrafice that we both would have to make in order to get what we want. i just rather have some of you than none of you. when i had some of you, it was hard as hell not being able to be with you but at the same time, hearing you say you loved me, making me laugh, looking forward to seeing you just brought such joy and excitment. it made me grow more fonder of you. Im sorry if this is too much for you. It just had to come out one way or another. and i know i dont talk much to you and all but when i see you sighn on, my heart races a million miles per hour and i just get scared, i freez up and then i dont know what to say to you. then i get emotional when we do talk. i just want you so badly that it hurts. but im gonna stop hear cause i dont want to keep poring out my feelings, its painful enough just to write them down. you dont have to respond to this, i dont expect you too. i just pray that at least you can find happiness like i once had. you diserve it cause your a great guy.

7:16 PM - 1 view - 6 eprops - 4 comments - email it

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

crises

well today has been an extremly hard day. my mother is away for medical reasons and my father is busy with shit and i been taking care of my grandmother. 24/7 i have to bathe her, feed her, clean her, give her medacine, take her to physical therapy. i hurt myself today too. i tried to lift her into bed and she fell on top of me twice. my lower back is soar and my ankle is bruised, i probably sprained it. Im feeling extremly lonely at this point and stressed to my limit. i have to have dinner on the table for when my father comes home and run errins as well. its too much to my capabilities at this point. I just wish i had some type of help or support cause i literally am alone on this. and i want a sholder to cry on cause i feel so empty and alone and i have nothing good going for me at this point. im trying so hard to keep a brave face and smiling and laughing and doing everything in my power to just take it day by day but i literally feel like i have reached the end of the roap. what can i do now? i dont know. i have nothing in my life right now. My family is falling apart. everyone hates eachother and my mother is sick and wants to live some place else. my father is barking at me and everyone and im always being told by both of my parents that i never do enough, that im always lazy and im nothing cause im doing nothing with my life. But in reality i have done nothing put my life into this family that doesnt even act like a family. and also i was suppose to have relative come over this week to help me out with my grandmother and they didnt even fuckin show up! those cunt suckers.. i am fuckin pissed at them. they didnt even call or anything, we were expecting some help this week but no. Fuck them. they arent real family. I just want some support, want someone to tell me what to do, someone to guide me a littel cause i have never had guidence in my life, everything was always up to me. i think about teh things i cant have, i never sleep always having nightmares, im breaking down and all i want to do is be strong like i use to. but i feel like all these problems came at me at once. no love life, no social life, family crises, life going no where. i just dont have a fuckin clue. just tell me what to do someone.

10:47 PM - 1 view - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

07

Okay well i am hoping this year turns out better. Lucky number 7...lets just see how lucky it really is. I spent my new years eve at work. i partied a little bit with the kids, we played music and danced, i bought little poppers for them to throw and we ate popcorn and watched charlie and the chocolate factory. sadly they were in bed by ten and i spent the rest of the night alone watching tv. dont pitty me though..thats life.

me and the kids

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I can say i cried a little last night as well. i had one person on my mind the whole night and he wasnt here to share it with me. I watched teh ball drop in new york and when i saw everyone sharing that special kiss with that special someone, it just brought a sense of lonliness and i cried a little. But it was only 11 my time so i still had time. at midnight i called my friend ben and wished him a happy new years cause he was spending the night alone as well. Then i prayed for a good 10 minutes cause i felt i needed to do that.I worked til 3:30 in the morning. it was one of the longest lonlinest night of my life. i was glad it was over. i came home, everyone was in bed and i went to my room and got into bed in my clothes and cried. the only time i was truley happy that whole night was hearing from Aryo (thank you).

2:24 AM - 1 view - add eprops - add comments - email it

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Currently Listening
Over My Head (Cable Car)
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2006

well i just found out i wont be working for new years eve after all. i thought working would at least be better then being stuck at home but guess what? i'll be stuck at home. alone. yay *ppttss* so when will my life get any better? who knows. I know i know i complain too much. oh well this is where i right my feelings donwn right? well like someone close to me always says... "whatever". LOL <3

sense the year is about to end (thank God) heres a flash back of my most memorable events of the year.

Top 5 best memories:

1. Falling in love

2. enjoying things i have never been able to expirience with anyone else with the person i fell in love with.

3. each time i went to Tallahassee.

4. getting a job.

5. Getting my new car.

Top 5 worst memories

1. The break up

2. finding out my mom is sick

3. grandmother having a stroke

4. stress from work

5. getting through my emotional feelings

Top 20 songs of the year

1. Be without you - Mary J. Blag

2. So sick - Ne Yo

3. Photograph - Nickelback

4. Your beautiful - James Blunt

5. Promiscuous girl - Nelly Furtado

6. Hips don't lie - Shakira

7. Crazy - Gnarles Barkley

8. Smack that - Akon

9. Ridin Dirty - Chamomile? haha

10. Over my head - The Frey

11. Man Eater - Nelly Furtado

12. Too little too late - Jojo

13. My love - Justin Timberlake

14. Lips of an angel - Hinder

15. Far away - Nickelback

16. I belong to me - Jessica Simpson

17. Hurt - Christina Aguilara

18. Gallery - Mario Vasquez

19. Say it right - Nelly Furtado

20.What goes around/comes around - Justin Timberlake

There are a bunch of other songs that i love but i think this is my top 20. none in a particualr order, i just tried to remember them from begining of the year til now.

So top events of the year... I cant remember much. But most recent is Saddam's death. About damn time you bastard.

Oh and Steve Irwin's death... Which really made me cry.

When Jessica and Nick called it off.. it really made me loose a little hope on love. I really thought they were the real thing.

Anyways this blog is pointless. Have a safe and wonderful new years. Glad to see this year finally end.

2:23 AM - 1 view - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

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