Bye bye Miss American Pie. I could never be Miss American Pie (optimism issues), nor do I think the music died. Actually it was my faith in humanity.
I've already discussed my lack of faith in the divine, but now that I am losing more and more faith in the human race I may as well just find some box to seal my hope in and have a lovely funeral for it.
The idea that jolted me to this point is the fact that I could go about 3 days without speaking and I doubt that anyone would notice. There is no obligation to speak and I rarely see people I know in order to say hello as we pass one another to further rid myself of any obligation to communicate. In essence I could drop off the face of the Earth and it would be a few days before someone noticed. People only sometimes watch one another. I consider myself lucky if someone holds the door for me and it is now normal to not socialize if stuck at a table with someone you aren't familiar with. People use and abuse one another, which should not happen to begin with; however it has surpassed older acceptable limits. I don't even know who my neighbors are despite the fact that there are only three apartments in my building.
Where did we go wrong? As a society we have this lack of compassion and courtesy towards one another. I wonder if I am crazy to think of this, it seems like a social epidemic. I'm sure that I seem rather strange socializing with random people if in a permissible situation (i.e. waiting in line, at the bus stop etc.), but I do not want to be entirely swept up in the infirmity clinging to our society. What would be the general opinion on this? I apparently do not have enough conversations or have some sort of emotional disorder that makes me overly talkative and clingy according to these standards.
How did humans come to isolate themselves? This does not seem natural. We are afraid to come in contact with each other. If I bump into someone on the bus or we start packing in from the cold outside I see the eyes peer down at me in wonder about why I could have possibly brushed against them.
People watch one another without helping. Even in dormitories with someone becoming noticeably sick and appearing more sickly every day, nothing is said excluding the occasional bit of gossip that echoes throughout the hall. I can see how students fall through the cracks at universities. The bigger the university the bigger the cracks are through which to fall. Is it surprising that we have students who fall through the cracks and some who lash out?
My answer: No, I have seen people fall through the cracks and know how it's done. People do not care enough for one another to lend a helping hand anymore to pull them out and when the consequences crop up those who kept their hands in their pockets are shocked that someone did not survive the rigmarole.
I've even heard some of these people who think a simple smile on the street could have pulled someone from the crack. That smile wouldn't change the same look they would automatically give on the bus or forgive the lack of conversation while in line for a coffee.
The most depressing part of this is that there is no solution for this. It is how society is moving and the majority of the people would need to attempt to change this. In the town where I am from there was always a "Random Acts of Kindness" week where you would be encouraged to help one another or do random nice things, but that one week probably passes without a second thought. That is if it is still celebrated, of which I am unsure.
I think I may have fallen through the cracks if I do not need to speak for three days, but even from the trenches I am not much better. I know I look when someone bumps into me and I try not to have it look unfriendly, but who knows?
Comments (337)
Dang, this is good. I'm gonna recommend this.
Wow, I should have known this was gonna be good.
ABF doesn't recommend too much
I've felt isolated from anyone who cared before, even recently, but there is still hope. Humanity isn't doomed; there are people who care, and they're not hard to find if you look.
Maybe you should change your environment. Or possibly not leave it up to everyone else to make contact and speak with you. It works both ways.
I may do an experiment now, see how long i can go before someone i DONT know speaks to me.
The reason why people are so isolated apart from each other is simply due to the fact that everyone are afraid of the person next to them. It's simple biological competition. Survival the fittest. If one can dominate another person and break them down emotionally, then they win without using physical force. I would mainly blame the government, economic, medias, and mostly ourselves *mostly for freaking over nothing*. We built a concrete walls to shelter us from harm, thus creates isolation. From the moment we started kinder garden, what does our parents and teachers teach us? "Never talk to stranger, or get on the ride with a stranger" Ever heard of that terms, hell that term is still being used today. Simply because there are too many screwed up people loosed in the society, and the only way to protect yourself and those whom you love is by giving them a heads up warning, which created the whole mess. "Your friend is your worst enemy, and their worst enemy is you." A simple example of economic competition. Money is the key for survival now days, which in terms express the biological needs since money can purchase practically almost everything.
This is a nice post, definitely recommended
Xo
I disagree. I think it's choice. They say that things are what you make of it. If you choose not to talk to anyone, if you choose not to go out of your way to talk to others, if you choose to sit in the back of the class and not talk to anyone, then yeah, no one's going to talk to you either. In order for people to notice, you have to get them to notice.
Like the comments about, yeah, people are afraid of other people. But as human beings, we are social beings as well as there is almost a need to find a social connection. If you're going to live your life in fear of being rejected or fear of people not liking you, all I have to say is to get over it. People are so wound up in their comfort zone. You said how you don't see enough people you know to talk to, well, make more friends, that's all there is to it.
yep, it is a sad thought. we have reached teh age when compassion has become corny and stupid. its a pity also that there si no cure, or if otherwise almost impossible to take effect.
Society sucks. Get over it!
'The most depressing part of this is that there is no solution for this.' Yes there is! WE can change it. WE can be the initiators of the conversation or the acts of kindness. I went to a birthday party yesterday for a widowed lady. A friend of hers put it on for her and we all chipped in and did a bit. She was absolutely thrilled that people took notice of her. 'We can't change the world but we can change somebody's world.'
You seem pretty pessimistic. There is always a positive side to everything. Think positive and things will change for the better.
I'd say western culture is plagued by a general apathy, lack of hope, and sense of our own dignity.
i can definitely see your point, there's no arguing the lack of compassion and friendliness in this day and age...
however, i still talk to people i don't know whenever the mood strikes me (which is quite often) and i think you should, too. you hinted that you already do and you feel awkward because of it, or something like that. well, stop. i bet those people really liked the meaningless conversations you have with them. and if they don't, that's not your problem, that's their own.
oh and please hold doors open for people. it's one of my top 5 pet peeves, especially when guys neglect to do it for other males or females. i'm not saying that specifically men should have to do it all the time for women, i'm not stuck in the 50's, i am just saying i make a mental note of it in my head. especially around campus. guys who don't hold the doors for people grate on my nerves.
i definitely see your point. i think it's just like a vicious circle - people are scared that other people will not say hi to them if they say hi first, so they don't bother. i guess it's kind of like when you pass someone you know on the street but you refuse to acknowledge them and you rationalize it off with a "i'm sure they didn't see me anyway".
i think people want to get too ahead of themselves these days and therefore feel like they have to step on everyone else to get to the top =[
Wow. I've totally been feeling this myself. I go to a commuter campus and the people there are SO anti-social most of the time. Most people just want to sit there and get their education, when in reality they're missing out on another form of education. It kinda sucks because it makes it hard that people have this wall up and you try to make friends, but everyone is so resistant to it.
People just need to chill out.
Fer reals.
-Tim
You can't change the world, you can only change your input into the world and your reaction to it. The world will then change around you.
When I lived in NYC, I made a point to meet strangers' eyes when I walked down the street. Now, I still had my "don't mess with me" walk, and I tried to carry myself as though I knew what I was doing, because I was always conscious that openess in a big city can be problematic. But I never had problems, and I always felt better making small connections, if only for a moment, than creating a bubble of oblivion around myself.
We can bemoan our isolation, or we can take steps to lessen it. Smile at strangers. Make your random acts of kindness all year long. Don't take it personally when someone is stuck inside their bubble and doesn't respond. You never really know your effect on the world; you can only try to make it a positive one.
I've had a cynical view on humanity for a long time, but I try my best.
i lost my faith in humanity yesterday.
Just read a novel about life in the corporate world in which one of the characters realized that day to day communications in the office were totally pointless and meaningless so he spent an entire day answering anything and everything anyone said to him with quotes from the Godfather movies. It's sad, but you can have a sense of humor about it.
And you should be the person who smiles, who makes conversations. They'll either be kind in return, or if not, they're a jerk anyway. I don't know why we got so isolated, and it's kind of sad, but I'm also kind of glad my neighbors aren't all up in my bizness all the time. That might be worse.
In the olden golden times, people socialized because they needed one another. They depended on one another for survival.
Nowadays, we all can do anything without asking neighbors for help. We don't depend on anybody.
And this independence is what is eroding human relations.
Also, to bring in your example of someone getting sick at a dorm and nobody doing anything about it.
Well...people are afraid that the sickly individual will proclaim with great attitude, "It's none of yo business..stay out of my life!"
It's also fear of attitude like this that prevents some from being more social.
I for example, have gotten on a bus and smiled at a stranger. What was that stupid person's reaction? One of those looks that says, "Uhh...do I know you?"
No you whore, you don't know me! I was just trying to be nice.
I know that when someone smiles at me, it makes me feel better. I wanted to do the same for someone else! Well fudge you, I will not do that anymore.
There's probably nothing I can say that hasn't been said already by the 20ish other people commenting, but hang in there. There may not be anything currently anchoring you down or giving you reason to believe in humanity, but absence of evidence is not evidence of absence for you finding a reason to have faith again.
I haven't lost fiath in humanity, just in people who afraid to something let alone try to change that fact. I'm somewhere in the middle of the people you describe while I do random acts of kindness. I may be afrisd of people, but it's just a random fear, I just don;t like large groups of people. But most times when I see someone needing help, I usually do. Nothing dramatic, mind you, but it's help enough for that person usually saying thanks and my conscious won't bug me about it later. However when I'm at work, my thinking is more cynical, sure I'll help people, but it feels much more of an expected command that the only nagging would be the said person in need, then my boss to fire me. That is the other element why people don't want to help people, thier cynicalness.
But I think the problem has been in existance for a long time, ever heard of the good Semaritain. It's a story where a man needs help, but his fellow country men, a priest even, are too snotty to help. It takes a Smaritian, someone who's from a different country as well as his people are suppose to be evil, to help the man. Yes the story has a good ending, but also serves it's a reflection of that the people masked as "good and caring" may not show that trait in all situations.
I forgot to add, if we don't want the existance that we complain about, we should do our personal best to chage it. It's a very thought provoking entry.
It's hard to find faith in anything when the world is so insane. But something in me keeps trying anyway. All we can do is try.