It's amazing how much I have to tell.  Last week was a really good week.  Spiritually it was challenging as God really spoke to me each night of the CIY sesssions.  Physically it was tough because I had to be up until past midnight each night and back up by around 7:30-8.  I usually go to bed by 9 or 10.  Plus we walked a lot.  Emotionally it was good because it was a week away from work and I got to spend some good time with some old friends and my family.

Some of the pictures of the week are below.  First, though I'll share a few things on my heart.

*I'm trying to figure out where God is calling me vocationally.  I don't think it's to be here for another 2 years or make this my "career".  I'm really seeking Him in this and trying to see where He wants me and what He wants me to do "with my life".  Am I supposed to be in a "vocational" ministry (church plant type)?  Teach?  Something else?

*I am a solid 4 point Calvinist.

*My breathing is getting worse.  My lung function is horrible.  I get winded walking now.  I felt like I almost passed out one night during a session just singing.  Sigh.  I pray it gets better but right now it's getting worse.

*Traditional church kills me.  We have been helping a family not in our fellowship.  They go to another church in the area.  Anyway, this is a large church but they don't help their folks.  It ticks me off when churches claim to be "New Testament" churches but don't follow the teachings.  In Acts, the church sold their possessions so "none were in need".  Preachers and pastors make good salaries (some WAY good) but they can't help a family in need?!?!  Things are backwards.  I would love to see one time a leader take the lead like Christ and say, "You know, I could probably live on less.  Instead of paying me $70K a year, I'll live on $40 so we can help more folks."  (Insert whatever pay you want there.  It's just one I know of around these parts.)  We're paying preachers that much but can't help the poor, the oppressed, the lost, even those in their own flock?  Something is wrong here.

*I love my family.  I love spending time with them.  We played some Monopoly on vacation.  Got to hang out, eat meals together, worship, whitewater raft, go to a baseball game.  I'm glad Rachel and the kids were with me this week.  Even though it wasn't a vacation, it was good to be with them!

Now the pics...

Me and Nate

My kids with Nate's kids

Me and the kids at "Move"

After whitewater rafting...so much fun!

My kids with Dustin/Anyssa's kids

My security crew on the last night...gave 'em all nicknames!

Brandt turned 7 while we were gone

Yesterday at the Red's game for Brandt's birthday

This post comes on the heals of a great 4th of July weekend and getting to hear one of my good friends, Tim Jones, speak at camp last week.

Have any of you seen "Old Gregg" on youtube?  If not, you need to check it out.  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcNHoOaoNhU)  It's British comedy and you have to have a certain weirdness to laugh.  But I do.  Anyway, Gregg (a scaly-man-fish) keeps asking Howard, "Do you love me?  Could you learn to love me?"  He wants to be loved.

I want to be loved.  It's why in high school I couldn't go 2 weeks without trying t find a girlfriend.  I was "one of those guys" who always had to have someone.  Maybe it was because of things at home.  Or maybe it was the fact we all desire to be loved.  We need to know we are valuable to someone.  Relationship.  We all need it.  We were created with it.  To be loved.  Touched.  Spoken to.  Cherished.

So why is it with our most precious relationship, we have made it into a list of "do's" and "don'ts"?  A check list to make sure we are doing our job.  This relationship with our Creator.  With God.  With Christ.  We have often been Pharisees about this love relationship, haven't we?  Do any of these "rules" sound familiar?

• If you watch rated R movies, you're not a real Christian.
• If you play cards, you're not a real Christian.
• If you drink beer (or ANY alcohol), you're not a real Christian.
• If you miss any day the church meets, you're not a real Christian.
• If you listen to THAT music (insert whatever you want), you're not a real Christian.
• If you wear shorts or a hat or flip flops in the "sanctuary", you're not a real Christian.
• If you don't pray every day, you're not a real Christian.
• If you don't read your Bible, you're not a real Christian.
• If you read anything other the KJV, you're not a real Christian.  (We all know Paul himself wrote the KJV.)
• If you give 9% of your money and not 10%, you're not a real Christian.
• If you don't go to church on vacation, you're not a real Christian.

That's my list.  And I've broken them all.  And I've heard from various Christians those comments or something similar.  It's a check-list mentality.  Do this.  Don't do that.  Pharisees used to live that way.  And Jesus preached most severely against those type of guys.  Yet, we often fall into that mindset.

Where is the love?  Where is the relationship?  Where is this freedom in Christ the New Testament speaks about?

Luke 4:18-19 "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."

Galatians 5:1  "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

John 8:35-36 "Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

Jesus calls us to freedom.  Not a check list relationship.  This doesn't give us the "freedom" to do whatever we want.  Because as we love Him more, we follow His lifestyle more.  We in fact may do or not do some of the things on "the list".  But we may not.  It's a matter of the heart.  I can drink a beer with my pizza and love God just as much as the guy who abstains.  I can play cards and love God.  Or I may show I love God by not playing cards.  How is He working in my life?  What is He calling me to?  This journey is about freedom.  It's about love.  For God so loved the world that He gave us a checklist, a set of rules?  NO!  He gave His Son so I can be in a relationship with Him.  And like any relationship, it is growing and changing.  What I do today may not be what I do in 6 months.  But the question isn't what am I doing....it's where is my heart?