For the past four years, my heart for doing church has transitioned out of the pews and into the homes. During that span, I received criticism and persecution from some Christians in the institutional setting. Some would say that it was absolutely necessary to be in church on Sunday morning. Some would think that I was in a cult with the other believers I was fellowshipping with. Some couldn't understand that there was anything wrong with the way church was being done. I typically took this all in stride and didn't let it get to me.
But a few weeks ago, the pastor at my church said that people who go to home churches are just disgruntled and angry with the way church is done, so they meet in the homes and throw pity parties instead of staying in the church and working these issues out. (As a background, I still go to an intitutional church, mainly because when my wife and I moved to San Francisco, we knew of no home church group, and fellowship with the body was essential to us.) I took offense to this statement, and became angry with my pastor because of it.
Fastforward to the weekend of August 11-12. My good friend Matt was visiting from Boston. He was instrumental in defining church for me years back as I was in my struggles of knowing there was something wrong with the institution, but not knowing where to go from there. Matt was a leader in the home church I attended in San Diego a few years ago, and I always looked up to him as a mentor in the Lord. I told Matt what my pastor said, and I was hoping to drum up some "holy anger" in him. Instead, he said "You know there is some truth to that statement. There are some who have been hurt by the church and go and meet in this manner. Now your pastor doesn't have the full picture, but there is some truth to it." Not quite the response I was hoping for. In spending more time with Matt, what I begun to pick up on was his deep heart for unity in the body. Because of what my pastor said, I became bitter towards him, and was not in a place of love for him. I became convicted to repent of my bitterness and keep loving my brother in the Lord. Matt said that there have been many pastors who harshly criticized him for attending house churches, but he continued to love those pastors. Matt didn't abandon them because of what they said. He tried his best to understand the truth behind their statements, and to remain in unity with them. Eventually, those pastors were disarmed because they saw that Matt still loved and cared for them.
Spending time with Matt helped me to realize that it's the system of church we need to be against, NOT the people. In the past, I think I there was a degree of judgement I placed on those who were in the institution, especially the leaders. But now that I am beginning to transition out of the institution (again), I need to make even more of an effort to love these brothers and sisters who are still in it. Even if they say something that might offend me regarding home church, I have to forgive them and show them that I still care about them. I need to hate the system, but love the people. For those of you that are meeting in the homes, please hear me out on this. It's the heart of Jesus to retain unity in the body. We house church goers especially need to set an example of love. We need to communicate that we're not splitting off to form another denomination. We are all one church, baptized into one body by one Spirit. We're pursuing God according to what the Word shows us, but that doesn't mean we're going to stop connecting with believers in the institution or stop loving them.
I could expand on the issue of unity, but I won't at this time. I'll keep it to what I've been learning regarding those in the institution. Here's a verse that I used to apply to non-believers, but I have also learned to apply it to people like my pastor who have persecuted the home church.
"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse." (Romans 12:14) I made the decision to bless my pastor, to keep on loving him and to cause any bitterness I had against him to be washed away in my love for him.
I'll leave off with Jesus' prayer for the church. He prayed this shortly before He was led to the cross:
John 17:20-26
"My prayer is not for them [the 12 disciples] alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."
Amen and Amen and Amen!
Comments (1)
SO true, C. Thanks for these thoughtful words. I find that an important part of this whole process of "deconstructing" from the harmful effects of the 'institution of religion', church, and all that this implies, is to remain loving, forgiving and open to those within that structure. It's still "family" and though we may move new directions, to resent only creates yet more opposing 'camps', more division, and nothing of any use.
I need help to remain humble, and I certainly have no desire to create yet another institution that mimics the issues of the larger institutions. Still, I've learned from our years of leading home groups that when working with people, in any format, issues ARE and will be there - we are never exempt from these conflicts. I know I have to pursue and honest, raw faith outside of the confinement of structures that claim to be 'the final word', instead of God, and God's unique calling for me, being the final word. To be true to myself and God, I must move forward, but also learn to love those who are both in and out of that same pursuit is the constant need and struggle.
Thanks for your eloquent words and thoughts on this crucial issue.