Friday, April 04, 2008
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Remy posted that April is autism awareness month.Her post reminded me of how important it is to listen and to validate others.
So many times we blow people off. How many times have you kept on doing what you were doing while talking to someone on the phone and only half listened to them? Or if we are in a hurry avoid certain people if we see them because they "talk". We keep conversations shallow.Remy's post reminded me how important it is to listen and not judge others.
I remember as a child walking somewhere with my mom and all of a sudden coming to a halt. She was talking to someone,usually a stranger.
Not just a "Hello" but listening to "their life's story".
Many times we would grow impatient waiting and she would give us gum!
Later we would always ask
"Did you know that person and she would say "No".
We know a man who ,no matter what you talk about, will mention the fact that "Real Chili dud'nt have beans in it".
One day he and his energetic child came to the greenhouse and
I saw them before they saw me, so,I hid in the office.
Then out the window I saw my mom and him on the swing
talking like best friends.
My mom and her Great-grandson on the swing.
I didn't even know he could get past the chili. In that moment I was so ashamed that I had not taken the time to value him as a person.
He had some spare time after work on a nice day and stopped by to visit, his son likes to torture "play fetch" with our dog.
I should have considered that an honor rather than an invasion.
"It was badly done, indeed!
(Line from "Emma" For those Austen fans out there) My mom has taught me many wonderful things but I think the greatest of them is to not let differences affect how we treat people.
To her people are people and she see's a story waiting to be told,
she wants to hear it.
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Comments (54)
Oh, can I be first, please let me be first
Very good advice. How many times has someone asked you, "How are you doing?" and you reply, "I'm fine." because you know they don't really mean for you to tell them how your doing really. Which is why I have one true and real friend that I talk to and most everyone else are just casual relationships. It is next to impossible to find someone who generally cares.
Good lesson from Mom...
i'm sure you are as wonderful as your mom is. we all grow and learn, all our lives.
Sadly,I think we're all guiltyof it; doesn't excuse it, tho.
I have a coworker who types while on phone calls. I'm on a call w/her right now (and doing the same). She takes her calls hands-free and the phone is right next to her keyboard. It's very annoying. She's doing it right now . . . tap tap tap click click click right in my ear . . . Makes me want to reach thru the phone and wrap the keyboard cord around her neck. Tightly.
I'm on a laptop, no keyboard cord to wrap'round my neck.
Ok, we're both waiting for the others on the conference call to come on, so we're both multi-tasking.
I think that's a wonderful legacy to leave your family.
And I need to work on that too...As a counselor I have listened to many life stories but I have to admit to needing to be "in the mood" to listen. Catch me at the wrong time and I can't follow their story.
I am sure you were just having an off day... because I can't see you hutting yourself off from anyone. You are A LOT like your Mama.
Thank you B for the very wise words.
(((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))) Ang
I just read that autism post, and it was wonderful as you said.
It is a shame that Man never takes the time to understand each other. We sympathize rather than empathize. We only listen to things that have to do with our own lives. Man is so selfish, and as Shakespeare would say "More than kin, and less than kind."
My mother would also tell anyone who would listen her "life story." It always annoyed me because I didn't like that she would so freely share our personal lives.
I remember a friend I had, no one liked her, and she was new, but I took her into my group of friends, and did my best to make her feel welcome. But my other friends didn't like her, begging me to make her go away. I'm ashamed to say that I did. Kids are so cruel, and they're not much better when they grow up. As adults, we just learn to lie better, and to talk behind other's backs rather than their face.
"What a piece of work is man!"
((Sorry for the long comment, ha.))
In reply: Thank you for your comment and taking the time to stop by my site. :) Writing is a good way to work out things such as depression. It's good to have a form of comfort outside those we see everyday.
-K
eh? thought i heard something?
that is some great advice. too many don't listen anymore and are just too self absorbed. i try to stop myself from talking too much and try to ask question and listen. i use to be a big talker. i'm working on that.
i can't tell you how much i have learned this lesson...working in retail has actually taught it to me...i can't tell you how many older people come into our store, just because they have no one else and just want someone to listen to them....and there are certain people many employees will avoid because they are talkers...and i cringe so much when i hear tht employee be rude about it...and alot of times rude about it in front of other customers!
Thanks for this post.
Well said!
@katietroyer - Katie,you are welcome.
Stories. I love stories. Stories are fun. Sometimes though I get hung up on the storyteller. Not so good.
Great post. What comes naturally to your mom, doesn't come naturally to alot of people. But it is definitely a great way to be.
@penny1966 - Thanks Penny.
I want to meet your mom. I want to get to PA this summer.
@CynaraJane - She wants to meet you too,you will love her.
aww great post.
I truly enjoy talking to people I don't know....I learn the most fascinating things.
RYC- That sounds like a really cute place to get married. I'm only turned off by the superfluousness of weddings. :)
That seed thing is really cool. Reminds me of my family; I just hope my children (which I probably won't have since I want to adopt) get my parent's GOOD qualities! Progress and change always take steps back every few years...