Paging Dr. Freud
I noticed that after I eat a serving of Quorn turkey-style roast, I always become sleepy. This is truly bizarre because it’s not a real turkey and therefore shouldn’t contain any tryptophan. I’m not sure if it’s just a psychosomatic response or if the Quorn people actually added the amino acid sedative to the “meat.” If the latter’s true, then that’s even creepier than the fiberglass wishbone in Tofurky roasts.
rosie - o’
donnell
Recently I perused Rosie O’Donnell’s much-publicized blog. Using her signature clipped verse poetry and bastardized haikus, she sounds off about Oprah’s Hermes-gate and Tom Cruise’s reckless behavior. I strongly suggest you read the entire entry yourself, but I’ve pasted my favorite excerpt where she contemplates the “most humiliating experience” of Oprah’s life.
i cannot wait to hear
all the details -
one of the most humiliating moments of her life…
oprah
a poor overweight
sexually abused
troubled black female child
from a broken home -
that oprah
sufferred ONE of the most HUMILIATING momemts of HER life
at hermes in paris
Couldn’t have said it better myself, Rosie. And by the way, congratulations on returning to the pantheon of likeable public figures. (…But I still love you, Oprah.).
But in a related topic, the moratorium on my Tom Cruise harangues is a complete failure—but he’s just acting his ass such a damn fool, I can’t shut up! Why, it would be like a secular humanist trying to keep quiet about Dubyah's public policy. I also couldn’t pass up sharing this amusing caricature with you, dear reader. (Courtesy of tomcruiseisnuts.com.)
How Terry Lost Her “Groove”
Terry McMillan’s marriage to Jonathan Plummer, a Jamaican 20 years her junior, has ended; the relationship famously served as the basis for her book How Stella Got Her Groove Back. The marriage was over once she learned that her very own “groove” had been gay all along, and now she suspects that he only married her for US citizenship. After her discovery, she gay-bashed him at his dog-grooming salon by presenting him with a bottle of Jamaican hot pepper sauce on which she wrote, “Fag Juice Burn Baby Burn.” Personally, I think she should have cleaned out his wardrobe and started a bonfire on her front lawn with his clothing. And as the chorus of Whitney Houston’s “Exhale (Shoop Shoop)” plays in the background, she defiantly turns her back and snaps her fingers Angela Basset-style.
Now I wonder if there’s a sequel in the works…
And finally…
You just can’t make this shit up: Lions Free Kidnapped Girl. | 
