Sunday, April 06, 2008

• i am going to stop rolling over and playing dead.

  i'm going to stop letting them walk all over me.

  i'm going to conquer my fear, so help me God.

   

   

  i am ashamed that it took me so long, that it took so far, that it consumed so much of me.
  it's so shameful when the truth is finally unveiled and your blindness is finally cured.
  it's really and totally embarrassing.

  like you've been running around in your undies without your pants
  and you've just figured out that you're standing in times square.

  but i'm going to conquer that too.
  i'm going to get over myself and realize that the world really doesn't care.
  that they don't really notice me the way i think they do... i'm really not that big of a deal.

   

  i have to stop being a coward.
  in so many ways.

   

  to everyone i've hurt in my blind rage and bitterness, i'm sorry.
  would you be understanding when i say i wasn't myself?
  that i really was hurting so bad i didn't know what else to do?

  ...that i'm still sore and hurt and have only begun to realize it?

  • 2:56 AM
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