feeling a dichotomy of responsibility and love to the younger ones.

Sometimes I wonder if it is not the selfish kind of love. I am going to miss my brothers and sisters here terribly.

About packing: think the minimum? haha as if that were possible with me. -.-

I have been slowly going through the checklist of things I need to do before I leave for school...some of the things, though, were not written down, because I know I will not find any relish in checking them off.
Like...saying goodbye.

One check for last night.
I know I've said this before, but I'm going to say it again. It's strange how things change, how people change, how relationships change. Fate decides for us, I suppose. Or better, the Providence of God. These last few days I have been hard hit with the reality of losing something very valuable, but perhaps that thing was never mine to have in the first place. I have been very, very, selfish--I've realized that. And I hope to change.

So random trip of the year--Colorado for four days? Flying out tomorrow. In all honesty I hope the trip goes well, for I feel I am encroaching on my godparent's time and like three days would have been much better for all of us...but...who can beat spending time under the great Rockies, breathing the free air, and being with some great mentors/friends/teachers? =P It's always awesome going back to the land of my birth.

I haven't been good about my practicing this month at all. I think I am discouraged about how "quickly" I learned everything (although Noctuelles is still....eh) and I am convinced that I must be doing everything wrong but don't know it, therefore I cannot help myself. Yes, it's a pretty sad vicious cycle. Oh, but with guitar, I can play one of my favorite songs fairly well by now...but I guess it doesn't help that it's emo-ish.

Question....how do you not stress out about life? heh...