The Problem, Sir Author...

goodmorning,

I am faced with the delicious quandary of reading three very good books at once.

Item One: Battlefield Earth (L. Ron Hubbard).

I'm in the 500s of 800 pages and haven't been bored yet. A pure sci-fi adventure with good old American heroism, and several Scotts thrown in for good measure. First sentence goes something like:

"Man," said Terl, "is an endangered species."

It's the year 3000 and for over a thousand years Earth has been occupied by Psychlos--an alien species composed of viral material who conquered the planet for the express purpose of mining its very valuable resources. Pychlos enjoy torturing the Earth animals in their spare time. When the Psychlo head of security, Terl, decides to train one of the 'man animals' to mine a lode of gold he secretly discovered in the mountains of what used to be Colorado, the tides start turning. The man animal he captures, Jonnie Goodboy Tyler, had always been scolded as 'too smart' in his small village. He puts his wits to good use when he sends a load of very radioactive uranium to the Psychlo homeworld.

Single drawback: Hubbard is a great storyteller plotwise, but his style is somewhat lacking. Clear and fast-paced but largely unoriginal.

Item Two: The Book Thief (Markus Zusak).

I picked it up at Barneble's and was moved to tears three times before page eighty-five. The imagery is astonishing. His way of putting things keeps me alternately gasping and holding my breath throughout. An excerpt from page two:

I could introduce myself properly, but it's not really necessary. You will know me well enough and soon enough, depending on a diverse range of variables. If suffices to say that at some point in time, I will be standing over you, as genially as possible. Your soul will be in my arms. A color will be perched on my shoulder. I will carry you gently away.

At that moment, you will be lying there (I rarely find people standing up). You will be caked in your own body. There might be a discovery; a scream will dribble down the air. The only sound I'll hear after that will be my own breathing, and the sound of the smell, of my footsteps.

It is about a girl in Nazi Germany who heads off her career with the Hitler Youth by stealing forbidden books from bonfires. The narrator is Death.

Single Drawback: I can now curse in German.

Item Three: Fahrenheit 451 (Ray Bradbury)

Yet another book about...book burning! Every time I walk into Barneble's I pick up this gem and read a few paragraphs and am so struck by the passion I feel I should be kneeling. Kindred souls always know kindred souls, and Bradbury is a Writer with a  capital 'W'. He feels the words...

Query: Why did I not buy it all those times?

Answer: The same reason I don't buy many books: no hardcover! However, I received the much-desired harcover for my birthday and am gradually making my way through it. The first few sentences:

It was a pleasure to burn.

It was a special pleasure to see things eaten, to see things blackened and changed. With the brass nozzle in his fists, with this great python spitting its venomous kerosene upon the world, the blood pounded in his head, and his hands were the hands of some amazing conductor playing all the symphonies of blazing and burning to bring down the tatters and charcoal ruins of history.

Single Drawback: So far, there's not really one, except for maybe this strange tidbit: I just found out it was first published in Playboy magazine, way back when Hugh Hefner was first starting out. I guess some people really do read it for the articles...?

And I find myself wondering, amongst this kind of...divine poetry, why any other books even bother existing? Anything less is just taking up space on a bookshelf. Why am I writing something that could hardly be compared with something as brilliant as Bradbury or Zusak? The answer? I can't not write it.

Simply because I must.

later.

On Second Thought...

good morning.

WARNING: the text below contains spoilers for the second Inheritance book, Eldest, so if you haven't read it, ye be warned.

So, George pointed out awhile back that in light of Eragon's father, the whole story is just like Star Wars. "Yeah, I guess..." I hesitantly agreed. Recently, though, in some online reading, I came across several other people who called it a total Star Wars ripoff. So I thought about it a little more. And....yeah, it isn't just like Star Wars, it is JUST LIKE Star Wars. Observe, and see if you can tell if I am sumarizing Star Wars or Inheritance:

In book one, a young farmer boy living with his uncle comes to own something that will help to destroy the evil Empire. The Empire finds out and subsequently sends grunts to burn the boy's house down and kill his uncle. The boy goes on the run with a crazy old man from the same town who always told stories about a select group of people who used to fight for justice and peace using extraordinary powers. The crazy old man teaches the boy the ways of these people, and turns out to have been one himself. Old man dies, quirky side character joins the cause, together they rescue a princess and return to the rebel base from which they plan to use the thing the boy has to fight the Empire.

In book two, the young boy goes to complete his training under a crippled old elf, and later discovers his father is the right hand man of the Empire's leader, i.e., one of that select magical group that turned evil, and now both the Empire leader and father want to recruit the boy and turn him to their side. Book two ends bittersweet with quirky side character in the hands of the Empire.

Oh, one more thing: in book one, crazy old man bequeaths a glowing sword to young boy, which used to belong to his father.

So, yet another "dude. What is THAT about?!?" to add to my list of things to say if I ever meet Paolini. For now, Paolini, you have lost major points. I'm winning. Granted, my own books draw from other stories, but always a crazy combination of various plots, and never intentionally. Not Star Wars inserted into the Lord of the Rings world with so much accuracy no one can deny the connection.

Despite all that, however, I still admit I have enjoyed the books greatly so far, and would, in fact, be willing to read them again. If the third book starts with an attempt to rescue quirky side character, however...*cough*. I mean, good grief.

::EDIT:: Here's somebody who says it better than me! YouTube: "Mr. Black Eragon" (look at his tie) ::EDIT::

later.

cHANGES

goodmorning.

On the new layout of Xanga:

I don't like it. It's too complicated. It took me awhile to find the "new weblog" button. This is ridiculous!

News:

News?!? Since when have I written any news on here? Well, it's been a long time, at any rate.

So I've finished three books since my last review, and I haven't reviewed ANY of them (*gasp*). They are

Sole Survivor, by Dean Koontz: my first (and prolly last) Koontz book. I bought it at the library for a dollar (hardcover!!!!) because it was cheap and had a good first sentence. Interesting thoughts on that...my brother hated it more than I did...

The Prestige, by Christopher Priest: yes, the book the Christian Bale/Hugh Jackman movie was based upon. This was a long time coming. Took me forever to finish because the middle was depressing and I stoppped reading it for awhile. But after I got over that hump I couldn't put it down. Not even to study for finals!

Persuasion, by Jane Austen: if you haven't heard of it, it's the book they mentioned in The Lakehouse (Keanu Reeves/Sandra Bullock). The girl has no clue on first and last sentences, but frankly, it was a good book. Captain Wentworth writes one heck of a letter.

So that's the quickreview. Maybe you can vote on which one I review first (or at all). Yeah, the one person who comments...*cough*

*crickets*

The news news is, now that I am on break from school (debating whether to go back in Fall...), I've been writing!

*gasp*

Not just writing...now prepare yourself...writing The Weary!

Yes, a rewrite, of course! What else have I ever done with The Weary? I am actually no longer sick of the main story and have been making significant progress (I think)...even unto Chapter Five! Skipping chapters two and four, of course. They hopefully don't need much work.

The question remains, a farmer, a lumberjack, a welder, an oil rigger (rigger? Is that the right term????)

later.

fire, ice, rage

goodmorning.

the angels have taken the phone box.

bad wolf

America's Next Beef Tenderloin

goodmorning.

We were flipping channels and came across this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLqnCpMSmIc

ADVISORY WARNING: this is Next Top Model, people; they're not wearing a lot. Also, it's really gross.

...

Okay, so now that you've seen the latest fashion horror show, let's see what we can learn from it.

Firstly, yes, that's meat they are wearing. Notice phrases like "That makes her look really beautiful" and "She really stepped up today"

It was probably only meant as sensationalism, what-will-they-have-to-do-next kind of a thing you always see on reality shows. But it just goes to show you what filth these poor women will sink to just to be called beautiful. Total nudity wasn't enough to wake them up and neither was raw meat. There is no level too low for fashion. But the image of a half-starved woman, hair sticking out in all directions like an old broom, eyes lined in black for a diabetic, rather than the intended debauched--as Bruce Bliven noted back in 1925--look, wearing a flesh bikini (not flesh colored, mind you; flesh) is not just disgusting; it is poignant.

Those women are nothing but slabs of meat now.

Not one of the women objected, not one refused to do it. There were disgusted remarks, of course, but it was a problem when they didn't look comfortable in their little meatsuits, when they looked totally disconnected from their raw and refridgerated surroundings. Praised for straddling trash cans full of animal flesh and posing in the blood on the floor. Not one even considered if it was degrading. You do what the man with a camera tells you to do.

And what started it all? Nothing less than the liberation of women! Read all about it:

http://faculty.pittstate.edu/~knichols/flapperjane.html

So we need to ask ourselves; is this the kind of stuff we want to represent America? The American Dream is now twenty half-naked women in a meat locker?

There's a reason it makes us sick.

later.