My goodness. Havent blogged on this shit for forever! But now that it is finally summer I guess I have time to talk about the things that have been going on in my life. Things have just been hectic for the past months, but now I'm trying to ease things..I guess.

So, I'm finally a Junior...not finally, I can't believe I already am a Junior! I've completed half of my High School life. It's hard to believe that in two years I will be faced with the difficulties that college will offer me. But anyways, so I'm a Junior. Wow. Not quite sure if I'm ready for all the "hard stuff" being that Junior year is supposably the hardest. yikes. But hey! gotta face the difficulties.

Family business. Well, nothing has really change. I'm use to all of the shit that happened & the situation I've been going through. But I can only live with it so mine as well make the most of it. Besides all that drama, me & the family have been good. No big arguments with my mother and I'm getting along with Gel much more than before. I guess it's cos' I miss her alot since she's never at my Mother's cos' she's always at my Dad's. It gets hard at times that I see her once a week, but that's Ok. Well my older sister is off to college in 3 months. That is not enough time due to her practices and work, and me with my volunteer hours & friends. (friends consume alot of my time). But anyways, it hasn't really hit me that she'll be leaving me. Seeing her once every two weeks, wow. I've been living in denial cos' I won't have that someone to go to at the house. Besides that, I'm proud of her accomplishments at SI. So, me with the family are good.

Lately I've been having this aching feeling between my friends and I. I have definitely gain and formed new friendships, but I also lost a few. My "kick-it" gang are always cool to be with tho! My trues have always been there for me, so between them its cool Ever since Seton I've been getting alot close with Bianca & Tara, which is cool. They're my OG cast. haha. But since I hardly talk to them during the school year it's nice to have them to talk to and be around while doing my volunteer hours. Things have change with my "GNOG" gang. I miss them so much, and I miss how things use to be between us. But I understand that we grow apart. Although, we're always going to be here for each other, no doubt about it. I wish I could gain it all back cos' they were all my good friends, and I would love to have them around more.

Feelings do change everything. As much as I want things to be right between him & i, it probably won't for awhile. Since we haven't been on eachother's "hype" for the longest time, we grew apart. I mean it was great not having feelings for him & it was easier to do thngs. But I never knew it would cost our friendship. I certainly do miss him as my best friend, and at times I wish I never had feelings for him. Just cos' I was the person he could confide in even before anything happened between us. Sure we hang out still, but it's not the same as before. I thought I wouldn't feel anything for him anymore, but recently it somewhat came back. I've just been indenial to admitting that. We've been at this for so long, and I get sick & tired of it. I just dont understand why I would wnat to give it another try. But anyways, sum it all up, I just need him as a friend, best friend, right now.

So, I'm turning the big 1-6 on monday. haha Not really that big, but whatever. Sixteen. whoopy. Honestly I'm not that excited just cos' some of my friends won't be here. Also, I didn't plan on anything exceept my mom is throwing my sister & I a party for her graduation and my birthday celebration. Well hopefully my sixteenth year will be great! =)

oO wee! Summer is here! ;). For the most part summer has been very good to me. Plus there is excellent weather! My summer composed of just chillen' with my friends, no late night hypes yet but soon will! I hope to spend alot more time with my family and cousins this summer, like last year. Maybe party with our good friend "b" tho. haha. kk, well that's the insight of my life right now. I congratulate you for taking 5 minutes of your time to read this caca! hahaha.Take care.

<3*chesa