Weblog
Thursday, July 10, 2008
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Struggles
It's funny how sometimes the thing that brings you to life shines a beacon on the past, opening your eyes to your most dead and decaying inner core.
Seeing Indy's passion for Christ makes me realize I'm a lot of talk. At the same time, I'm a lot of action, too. But sometimes, just those two aren't enough.
There are many times I do something "good" because I feel like it will make me a better person, others will look up to me, I'll be the hero and so on. But I'm learning it's not just about the "what are you doing?" but about the "why are you doing...?"
A friend of mine is really hurting right now, and mostly because of something I've done. I, in turn, hurt myself by telling myself I've really screwed this up. I feel like I need to fix it all, fly in and save the day.
"But you have to remember: you're not his Savior" whispers a Voice of Wisdom.
"Dammit, why not?!" my stubborn, twisted and vile soul shouts. "I wanna turn this around myself so I can feel I've accomplished something good!"
But God continues to quietly remind me that He is God and I am not.
Thank goodness for that!
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RE: Learning Contentment in the Waiting Room
I kick myself for not writing here more often. I love reading over what's happened in my life and realizing just how Perfect God is in His timing.
The waiting room I find myself in now is one I could have never seen coming. I feel like it's not even a waiting room anymore. It's not just filled with boring magazines and a tv, but something so much greater, I couldn't ask for more.
About two and a half weeks ago, I met a man I had no inkling of foresight would become such a major player in the musical that is My Life.
His name is NoahDavid Safford Lein, a 24-year-old English teacher from Elk Rapids, MI, and an amazing child of God.
After a few days of the normal break-room chats and a shift together at Pram, we found ourselves casually strolling from Africa to the parking lot.
"So... Grace College and Seminary? Are you a Christian by chance?"
"Yes, I most definitely am." ..."Are you?"
"I am."
It's funny how just that small claim can make you feel all sorts of things in one small moment. I was so grateful that God had finally revealed another Christian to me as my heart had been aching to find a brother or sister. I felt gratitude, excitement, encouragement. And only God knew that all of these emotions would burst all over me in a few weeks.
"Are you going to the Safaris party tonight? Would you want to go with me?" he implored.
"Um... sure!" I stammered.
And the rest is history.
And the future is uncertain.
But from where I stand, it's an exciting orb of God's greatness being played out in the lives of two of His children.
I can't wait to see where He leads.
I hope you'll stay tuned.
It'll be worth it.
Promise.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
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Transparent Walls Make Windows
Just throwing this out there. Dunno if anybody ever reads this anymore, but my family could use some prayer. Any questions can be directed to me. Thanx.
In other news, Mom and I are painting my room. Finally. Priming the walls at the moment and they'll soon be a sweet trendy aqua colour. I'll definitely be taking pics and putting them on Facebook soon.
Lastly, Disney is only six days away! Woot!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
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P.S. - I love Stu
I love taking an hour or so to procrastinate on bed-time, just reading through old Xanga entries. I do this now and then just to take an inventory of where I've been, moods I've swung around, and try to speculate how I ended up here. You know, at one point in my life, I was super happy-go-lucky, and I feel like I've lost that a little. Guess I'm mellowing out in my old age. ;o) But seriously, I don't wanna be so gosh darn serious anymore. I wanna have those fun times I used to know and lighten up a little.
Eh... I'll do it tomorrow.
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Learning Contentment in the Waiting Room
Well, I've made it to my summer half-way marker so far. I'm currently stationed in Charleston, anxiously awaiting deployment to Orlando for two months of friendship, adventure, and fun. But once I get on the trucks and start baking in the sweltering summer sun, I know I'll miss the days of olde, lying on gramma and grampa's sofa, snoozing or watching The Price is Right and silently chuckling at the sight of Drew Carey's Buddy Holly glasses. Yet in those days, I couldn't wait to be here in Charleston, soaking up some summer sun, frequently going surf-side, and hanging with my best friend.
You see, I've discovered this problem. Perhaps you've discovered it once too. It's a sort of overwhelming feeling that you'd rather be anywhere else but the red spot you've affixed to your current map of life. Somehow, that red dot seems like the most boring thing ever, like any area outside of its borders would be so much more exciting and fulfilling. But now and then, God steps in and reminds you that He's got you stationed at this specific dot at this specific time for a specific reason. Now, you may not see it right away. Nevertheless, you are meant to be where you are. All you need to do is enjoy it and be content. Look around you and realize you've got it made. What more could you ask for?
I want to be content where I am. I want to love that red dot, wherever it is for the moment, and say with confidence, "This is where I'm meant to be." So... here's my first attempt.
smilin_gal2005
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- Name: Grace
- Birthday: 9/7/1986
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 12/20/2004
