| White House Issues Nametags To All Bush Cabinet Members
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| Americans Build Bomb Shelters in Anticipation of Bush's Second Inauguration
Bomb shelters sprung up across the nation today, as Americans awaited
the second inauguration of George W. Bush. After a pre-inauguration
speech by Bush saying that "We will bomb them all," Americans have
become worried.
Republicans have responded with fury. "Our president will take care of
the country, regardless of what it takes. If that involves bombing
Moscow, so be it," said vice-president Dick Cheney, adding, "and if
you're not content with that, go f*** yourself."
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| Poll: 60% of Americans Believe that George W. Bush Believes that 60% of Americans Can Spell "Potato" |
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| George W. Bush Nominates John Ashcroft as New Attorney General
Today, in a move that surprised many governmental analysts, George W. Bush
nominated former attorney general John Ashcroft's successor: John
Ashcroft.
"Mr. Ashcroft has served the nation well, and certainly posesses the
experience to be attorney general in my Cabinet," said Bush in a press
statement, issued today. "I am looking forward to having him in my
administration again."
Republicans lauded Mr. Bush's decision. Congress Majority Leader Tom
DeLay said that Bush had "a critical choice to make, and he made the
right one."
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