opportunity op-por-tu-ni-ty one(taking a break from a 4 page paper for brit lit) I missed a lot of class last week due to illness, and it was stupid of me not to double check my uber-confusing syllabi. English teachers get carried away writing a 6-page syllabus. I just found out that I have to turn in a 4-page expository essay in response to a work we have read in class. I'm having a book phobia lately. Some of these books are so heavy they hurt my shoulder to carry them to class, and the novels are replaced every week. I've never had to read so much IN MY LIFE! I don't mind it so much, cept that I get sleepy and I have to sacrifice any form of socializing. You know how much I loooove sacrificing.... I hate doing my homework at night. I want to have fun then sleep. Instead, I have to scrounge all my willpower and find a way to read like there's no tomorrow. I can't work on newspaper stuff at night, and I'm left with a schedule full of reading and writing and not anything else. Episode II is being filmed this weekend, so I have to be prepared for that. It also means I will have to prepare for 2 midterms in between shoots and not go out at all this weekend. I am absolutely incapable of doing anything besides study, write, and my two newfound jobs in media. Sometimes I'm invited to events, but I'm so worried about my schoolwork that I can't even say "hello." When I do say 'hello,' it's never enough for me or them. I think the best thing to do is not even think about how I'm sacrificing my social life after this moment.
Done.
Just don't worry about what other people want from me. It's all about being selfish in the long run... Luckily for me, biology is making lots of sense this semester. My most crucial class for graduation is the least stressful. That's not right. I shouldn't even bother to socialize. Every time I do I'm not very friendly because I'm so concerned about what I should be doing. I stopped worrying about what I'm going to do in the future, although I get sucked into thinking about my opportunities all the time. I know I'm going to have to work my way up if I'm going to do what I want. Doing anything rewarding with money is going to end up wasting my time in the long run anyway. It's hard not to think where this hard work is going to take me. I had a very, very fun weekend. I know it will be one of my last until Spring Break. Even then, I will be taking care of some business and also working for my mentor. I don't see how people can take vacations. I associate vacations with relationships now. They're nice, but how can you have one when you have goals to accomplish? If I ever, ever find extra time, I'm going to be everywhere I can be to kill as many 'social birds' as I can with one stone. Once I find a way to manage all this demanding work, I'll feel like every day is a vaca again. I hope you haven't read all this. Xanga is being put to use again b/c I don't want to be the girl who is constantly complaining and stressing to her peers. Let me vent now when you don't have to listen. My unattractive attitude is left on the blog. Considering that I have an 8:30am class, a nice 3-hr break to write my articles, and deadlines, I should just go to bed now and wake up early. I do have a physics colloquium at 4, but I think Starbucks will do the trick. I should move up my sleep cycle for sure. I need Starbucks to keep up with school and work. My articles pay for my Starbucks. It's a silly, strenuous cycle. I'm doing it for the portfolio. This hard work is nothing compared to moving up in the media field. I'm doing it for my future. All this is still manageable. When I really do reach my limit, I'm sure my hero will save the day. | 
