Sunday, May 11, 2008

• Parenthood

  So, today is officially Mothers Day, and I wish every mother out there in the world absolute happiness, peace, and quiet for one single significant day.

  I want kids someday. I mean, who doesn't? But I don't want more than two children...I doubt that I could handle eighteen. To me, anyone who actually wants that amount of kids is too ambitous for my taste. If they can afford it all, I wish them the best of luck. But if they cannot...what the hell are they thinking???

  I am sure that being a mother brings a lot of happiness and all, but it also brings a whole lot of stress, especially if the children are teenagers. What I have learned is that parenthood is NOT associated with emotional well-being, and it is more likely to offer stress and raise levels of depression than happiness. Now, I am not saying all parents suck...because that is not what I am even trying to say...but children do cost money, and some of their antics may cause a whole lot of trouble.

  Recently I posted an essay, titled "Marriage and the College Student". In it, I said that motherhood was a form of feminism, and it is. Most radical , PETA-loving (LOL) feminists might think different, but I stand by my words. It is a way of expressing feminism because women get to do what they want to do: raise children and take care of the household. But not all of them stay at home and become homemakers...no, no, they go out and enter the workforce. Studies have shown that more than half of women with children under the age of three are in the labor force than the household.

  Now, this may or may not be related to what I'm talking about, but here is the comparision between the cultural dream of families in the U.S. and the cultural reality:

  1. Couples get married and then live with one other.

  Cultural Reality: More than 10 million unmarried couples share a household.

  2. Pair-bonding takes place between one man and one woman.

  CR: Approximately 3% of the population live in two-person, same-gender households.

  3. "Normal" people marry in their early 20s.

  CR: About 40 million people aged 25 or older are unmarried.

  4. A couple's first baby is conceived after the wedding.

  CR: About 30% of all first births are to unmarried women.

  5. First marriage endures until the death of one spouse.

  CR: More than half of all first marriages end in divorce or separation.

  6. Children live with both their biological parents until age 18.

  CR: Only 42% of childrenlive with both biological parents.

  7. Children are raised by both a mother and a father.

  CR: More than 10% of all family groups with children under age 18 are headed by a single parent.

  8. After a child is born, the mother ceases employment until the child has left home.

  CR: More than half of women with children under 3 years old are in the labor force.

  Of course, I've already mentioned number eight, but the cultural realities of numbers one to seven are surprising, aren't they? Well, they may not be, but they certainly are different than the contrasting cultural dreams.

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