WITH LOVING HEARTS AND JOYOUS SONG WE SING TO MGS

I'm not sure what makes MG different from any other school except for the exorbitant school fees, but I'm sure that when I leave there'll be a thousand comparisons to make, each sentence going, "omg I miss that about MG.." Something about absence making the heart grow fonder. Afterall, it's been my second home for almost ten years. However much I love my school though, I can hardly say it's perfect; way too many idiosyncrasies to be called that. So, becuz I am nothing if not a never-satisfied, closed-minded Singaporean, here's a list of decisions/situations in my school that make me wonder about the sanity of the school's administration:

Disclaimer: the following is written tongue-in-cheek and should be taken with a pinch of salt, especially if you're someone with enough authority to send me to detention, since I remember doing a school rules quiz on the possibility of getting booked for blogging about anything that undermines the school. Almost feel like I'm living in George Orwell's 1984 trying to avoid the Thought Police. Not that I mentioned anything as radical as "F- MG!!", but better to be safe then sorry.

#1 Rule on bras

Okay, I don't mind that the school dictates the socks we have to wear, or even the 3:2 proportion of our blouse to skirt, but when they start deciding the colour of my undergarments (single coloured in white, beige, navy blue, grey or black), I say that might be taking it a bit too far. Not that I'm planning to wear a leopard skin patterned one studded with diamonds or whatever, but what right do they have to mess with my underwear!! What next, a granny-panties-only rule?

#2 Security guards

Not trying to be mean, but take a look at the security guards that patrol our school and you'll see why I question the school's choice of hiring them. I won't go into too much detail lest I, despite stating nothing but facts, be called a witch or something disconcertingly similar, but let's just say that if Mas Selamat ever came into our school and took anyone hostage, I'm betting it'd be a security guard over a student.

#3 MGS slippers

That they're the ugliest footwear invented has something do with my problem with them (faded blue and putrid yellow!) but when a school starts selling things like cheap-looking MGS-themed slippers, it gives me nightmares to think of what might come up next. MGS sunglasses? Yellow and blue wristbands? Oh wait, we already have those. Ugh.

#4 Vice-principals

Our school has at least 4 of them, no joke. I'm sure they're all put to good use, but it gets a bit worrying when a vice-principal pronounced 'fruits and vegetables' as 'fruitee and vegee-terbles' during devotion one morning. Not being elitist, but.. okay I'm being totally elitist. Just wondering what criteria has to be fulfilled to take up that post. Look out for vice-principal number 5: the stall vendor!

#5 Prefects

The nightmare I mentioned in point number 3 is nothing more than a figure of speech, but when it comes to prefects? I get honest-to-goodness nightmares about them. If ever I'm approached by a prefect, regardless of whether she's my friend, I can't help feeling extremely self-conscious. It's not that I don't like the person, I just hate their extremely annoying habit of booking people. Two more demerit points and I'll break my perfect record of never having been to detention!

#6 Canteen utensils

Always dripping wet and covered with a layer of grease, it wouldn't be hard to nab the culprit should a bout of food poisoning ever break out among the students (or if we're lucky enough, the teachers!) I'm not trying to be difficult, and I know the amount of washing-up the stall vendors have to do is hardly negligible, but I'm sure even Paris Hilton could've done a better job. Almost makes me want to go the Muslim route and bring disposable cutlery.

#7 GEL activities

GEL, which stands for Godliness Excellence and Love, is nothing but a fancy name for compulsory moral education lessons. I'm not complaining that they make us attend time-wasting Clean and Clear talks or watch videos poorly acted by teenagers on boy-girl-relationships, but when they expect us to make multimedia presentations about what we've learnt during those periods, maybe it's time for them to wake up and realise that: WE HAVEN'T.