Thursday, April 24, 2008

• Navy

  I went to the Navy recruiter office today (next door to the Air Force).  I have to say everyone was much more friendly and alive than at the Air Force office.  Their background questionnaire is almost much less stringent than the Air Force's, which means I didn't even have to lie about the major holdup.  The Navy apparently doesn't care about problems with the law unless it's actually on your record.  There was none of that bullshit about listing out everything even if it was dismissed or thrown out.  So, my court case never even came up at all.  Thank the gods.  The recruiter also didn't make me list out that I've used marijuana in the past.  He gave me a drug test on the spot and I passed with flying colors so that was the end of that.  That's two lies out of the way.  The last thing I didn't lie to the Air Force about, but should have, was the fact that I've been to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with Depression back in the day.  I just upright lied to the Navy about this, because there is no way they can search my medical records.  That means there is no way they can find out unless I admit it to them at a later date.  I knew this going into the Air Force, but I decided to be upfront with them and it ended up screwing me over.  I don't have to worry about the two branches sharing the information, because there is a privacy law in each of the armed forces where they cannot share personal information with each other.
  
  Want to know the true bonus to going Navy over the Air Force?  In the Navy I get to pick my job and my selection is guaranteed and immediately written into my enlistment contract.  The Air Force had that bullshit policy where you picked your top 7 jobs and they picked whichever one suited their needs.  I'm already further along with the Navy after one visit than I was with the Air Force after two months.  They definitely are not giving me the runaround like the Air Force did.  I didn't even have to go back to the Air Force recruiters to get my birth certificate and diploma as one of the Navy guys went over and got it for me.  And since I've already taken the ASVAB, I get to skip that step as well.  Talk about painless!  Now all I have to do is fill out a form with my employment/residence history for the past 7 years and then go do my physical.  The physical is going to be Friday of next week, but I have to stay in a hotel the night before and then they bus us to wherever they do it.  Immediately after the physical is when I talk to a job counselor and select my job, or rank, as the Navy calls them.  Then I tell them how soon I'm ready to ship off to boot camp and they write up my enlistment contract.  The Navy clearly doesn't bullshit around like the Air Force.  Don't get the idea that they were pushing me into it, because they weren't.  I was pushing them if anything.
  
  Ah, but there must be a downside!  Not really.  The only thing that is "worse" is the fact that Navy boot camp is 8 weeks whereas Air Force boot camp is only 6.5 weeks.  Not a big deal.  If anything, it means I'll be that much more disciplined and fit.  Man, I am so fucking excited.  Oh, and boot camp is north of Chicago in Illinois (I forget the city) rather than San Antonio, TX.  That's a major fucking blessing considering I'll most likely be there in the dead of summer.  Also, there is high-speed satellite internet on Navy boats, so I wont have to abandon my precious internet time.  Zeus, almighty!  I'm gonna be in the fucking military!  It's actually happening!  No more speculation or dealing with the bullshit of the Air Force recruiters!  It's a fucking miracle!  Wait!  There's more good news!  Since I have 50 credit hours at an accredited college, I get to immediately advance to the rank of E-3 after boot camp (everyone else starts at E-1), and I might even get what they called a "college bonus" (Like a sign-on bonus).  That means I'll be making about $250 more a month right off the bat, and I'll be eligible for E-4 a fuck load sooner than everyone else, which is nearly $200 a month more than E-3.  Also, when you reach E-4 you get paid extra for time spent out at sea.  And if my home port/base ends up being overseas, then my whole base salary nearly doubles depending on where it is.  I love how even though the credits earned at my current school might not do anything for me as far as my final career, it still isn't a waste since the Navy will immediately reward me so handsomely for it.
  
  Fuck the Air Force.
  Long live the Navy (they have cooler slogans, anyway).
  "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of those who threaten it!"
  
  Ha.  I'm such a dork.
  
  DISCLAIMER (to snoopers from the Military/FBI/CIA/NSA): The above comments about lying are untrue and were merely included to raise appeal for my readers.  Furthermore, almost everything in this blog is entirely fabricated, thus rendering it unsuitable to be used as evidence against me (assuming 'me' is actually me and not an imposter or computer simulation/bot).
  

  • 1:17 PM
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