Tuesday, October 11, 2005

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    A Squeakysoul Rant

    A few stray comments on RiceBunny and a post on angellism - both a few days ago - inspires me to reflect on female fashion. The sum total of my thoughts on women's grooming is why the hell do we torture ourselves?

    Yes I know that there are metrosexual guys who do all kinds of stuff, blah, blah, blah. But by and large, most men wouldn't be insane enough to do to themselves half the things that we do (largely for their sake and don't pretend any different!). Are we just into the pain? Are we actually crazy?

    I'm smart enough to realize there are necessary evils to endure to look presentable. But some of the things women have to do to themselves range from the silly to the positively monstrous. I mean, isn't it crazy that we:
    • slather different colors, powders, and creams all over our face - are we going to war?
    • glue foreign objects onto our eyelids?
    • suffocate our fingernails with polish, or destroy them completely by gluing a piece of plastic on them?
    • scrupulously tear our eyebrows out at the root?
    • stuff our feet into shoes that smush all our toes together and warp our foot four inches off the ground?
    • pour hot wax on our genital region and rip the hair out there by the root? Wasn't that in the Geneva Convention? (If it wasn't, it should be in there. Meantime, I think I found a brand new way to question a few enemy detainees.)
    • wear short skirts when it is so cold people have to go outside wearing layers of sweaters and coats?
    • wear bra items (mostly costing upwards of $20 or $30) that employ a wire and all kinds of stuffing to make our breasts look larger/perkier? Can't bras be for restraining and protecting the breast only? Do you see men going to a special store to get a $35 contraction that stuffs their pants?
    • pay good money for underwear that looks like an eyepatch - so that you can walk around with a string in our butts all day?
    • wear low cut jeans that cut into our bodies and make even the skinniest women look like they have a spare tire?
    • I don't even know some of the other stuff that more body conscious and fashion conscious women do but I'm sure it's inconvenient at best.
    It frustrates me that a woman is not even considered professionally attired unless every hair is beaten into submission and she does not wear color on her face like a porcelain doll. It also frustrates me when I see skirts so short the woman can't possibly do anything involving any amount of leaning forward much less bending down. It's unbelievable that our pants have no pockets - or tiny pockets you can't even fit your keys into. I swear women's coats are by and large not as warm as men's coats. I've worn my brother's and my father's winter coats and there is no comparison. And we need to get the heck over the tightfitting clothing already - there are regions of our body that are adversely affected by so much cloth rubbing againt them and not letting them breathe. Does every single area, item, piece of skin on our body be perfectly hair free, have something tight pressing against it, or something shiny dangling through a hole in it?

    It kills me that the majority of men (who don't need to do more than shave, comb, shower, get dressed, and show up) will not glance our way unless we have gone through almost every bullet point on the list I outlined above. The thing that frustrates me the most is the way some women will mercilessly critisize any other woman who does not conform to this insane ritual of overcoiffing everything.

    I propose a common sense revolution in women's fashion. At a minimum, let's tone down the self torture. We don't need to wear insane heels. We can wear a minimum of makeup and still look quite good. Let's let our skin and nails breathe once in awhile. Let's find ways to avoid overprocessing our hair with chemicals. Let's not get caught up in being as hairless as a porn star. Let's wear undergarments that don't poke and irritate our bodies. Let's use pockets! And for heaven's sake let's be a little easier on each other.

Comments (17)

  • sou_ill_funnygal

    You go, girl! I love the part about the hot wax-I think you are on to something there.

    I gave up on several of these a long time ago-I guess by the time you hit your thirties you just say what the heck-if someone doesn't like me for me, that's their problem!

    It is nuts what some women go through-I'm glad I don't fret about it as much anymore.

  • amazngrace

    What I don't understand is the pantyline.  Why is it all of a sudden it is simply forbidden for women to even admit that they wear underwear that shows?  Why is it such a crime to have a pantyline?  We all wear underwear, what's the deal!  And how come men can parade their boxers in public??

  • angellism

    Wow!  I am so flattered!~ 

    You had me laughing so hard at "going to war!"  And the bra!  haha!

    This entire feminization on mankind (women AND men) is going way too far.  This trend could also explain the explosive plastic surgury surge nowadays.  I have a post on that too.  Check it out here and tell me what you think!

  • RiceBunny
    We do CRAZY STUFF!! ESP that mini skirt thing haha and BRA! Ur soooo right about all this! Even the makeup! NICE POST! I love it!
    ~ The Bunny
    /)_/)
    ( ';' )
    ((")(")
  • peachjolyranchr
    It kills me that the majority of men (who don't need to do more than shave, comb, shower, get dressed, and show up) will not glance our way unless we have gone through almost every bullet point on the list I outlined above.

    Oh. Well that explains why I can't get a guy to glance my way! That was extremely well written and entertaining for a rant! When I get fired up enough to write a rant, the end result is usually frightening and incoherent, and nobody dares comment on them :P
  • FunWithWords

    I admit to thinking that women are stupid to do half the things they do to hurt themselves or make their lives otherwise more inconvenient.  I have never understood what would make a person feel that putting a hole in their body and inserting foreign objects into these holes would be a good idea.  I cannot imagine the thought process that would allow them to do some of those things to themselves.  The fact that they have decided for themselves "this would be a good thing to do" makes me question their integrity.  What is self-respect when you must make yourself into a different person to go out in public?  How can you respect a person who seemingly has no respect for themselves?

    Your rant is well thought out and well written.  It raises many questions that I will continue to ask myself.  Thank you.

    Michael

  • gongjusally
    hahaha that was an observant, articulate, FUNNY post.  some of the things we take for granted seem so ridiculous in an objective light.  i'd like to say that i'm now going to stop torturing myself as i've seen the error of my ways - but i'm sure most of us will have our chuckle and then move on to pluck and squeeze something else.  sigh.
  • thinlizzy17

    Yes!  Actually, where I live and work women are fairly sensible.  I hardly ever wear makeup, I wear comfy shoes, and I wear a warm coat and hat in the wintertime. 

    ryc:  I've never had the nail "torn off" situation, but I can only imagine how much that would hurt.  I think my nail is just a little bit bruised. It still hurts a little but it's certainly not going to fall off. :)

  • katiesmom
    I can't wait to leave work... the first thing I do is take my shoes off in the car. I hate wearing shoes. Why can't we all just go barefoot? And the bra thing. That is stupid, awful torture isn't it?
  • heidz86

    That was a very good piece of writing. It reminds of an article I once read. It said women were expected to be hairless, flawless skin, skinny, bleached pale skin... it said it was a dangerous combination for a woman to go around wielding a razor, holding bleach, purging her meals... etc and saying that would be a funny sight.

    -Heidi

  • TimsHead
    A fine rant. Maybe I'm in some kind of minority of men in that I prefer natural beauty. It just seems more honest and genuine, and I find such things attractive.
  • TheTheologiansCafe
    RiceBunny is a good one to check with about fashion.
  • hollyr9483
    oh i definitely agree with you. we put ourselves through so much just to satisfy society. when i'm not going to work or having to look professional, i'm always in comfy clothes that i feel comfortable in. i don't wear makeup, i don't do my hair.. and i love the way i feel.
    i wish that was a more acceptable look for going out.
  • silvertree77

    I loved it. I think what gets all of society at one point or another is that deep inside, someone thinks if I can just change the outside, then I will become the person I want to be (or attract the person I want) and really it's the opposite. Your heart matters more than your boobs or perfect nails. :) Way to be, squeaks.

  • loverofausten

    That list was absolutely hilarious!  You seem like a wonderful person, i'm so glad you commented me!

  • peachjolyranchr
    I just noticed you subbed me back!  I'm deleriously honored :)  Your posts are always quality and well-written, to boot!
  • heidz86

    Hello. Thanks for your compliments to do with my clothes. I have paid for my whole ticket in full! I am very excited. In my latest entry I spent a wonderful time with my friend.

    Love Heidi

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