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| 9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film, "did you see that?" No you fucker, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the goddamn floor!
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?! Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do thats longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here? | | |
| "Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, "thats her"....
quote i found, thought it was pretty on target, but why dont they say what a guy wants? its nice and everything, and its good to find a guy who treats you like that, but don't you have to treat him well too? I mean I dont think guys dont want girls pointing them out to their friends or watching them sleep, they usually aren't like that, but they have to want SOMETHING in a girl. None of us knows what it is though because guys aren't all romantic and don't think up corny quotes like that one to communicate what the perfect girl is.
According to Taylor though, the perfect girl doesn't exist. Correction: HIS perfect girl doesn't exist, at least not yet. 90% of people don't find their perfect match in high school. Or college. They meet them drunk at a bar when their 50 and its too late.
Just kidding. Everyone has a perfect person, you just have to want to find them. The perfect person is the one who knows how to make you laugh, cry, get angry, get annoyed, and get excited. And the one who wants to make you happy and who YOU want to make happy.
I'm gonna stop before I write another essay. | | |
| hT 12 40: i got this girl named claire, not even the new gas fare could compare to her hair, r u aware of the flair her eyes give when u see her? it makes me feel like a victim of katrina, amazed at the sight, back in chem i was scared she would bite..she was sorta like a shining knight, i love this girl with all my might mostly cuz her ass was really tight..naa im just playin, but uhh u no wut im saying...one day shell come back to my town, im praying.. then ill show u the girl who im portraying, but she aint mine..shes just like my sacred shrine..all the time she was as high as the newyork city sky line..or higher than the vines we climb, but damn she was fine..i still ask her more brain than albert einstein
Yeah. chris is the coolest guy ever. one of them anyway. this was in my profile and he made me delete it, but i dont wanna get rid of it lol so im putting it here!
me and travis going out now, goin to the RODEO next saturday!! woot woot | | |
| So Mara, Mike and I went to Applebee's for dinner last night, and then afterwards met up with Travis and saw fun with dick and jane, which is hilarious. While we were at dinner, dave called me and first accused me of hoooking up with someone at the party i had at his house, which never fucking happened, and he was all like "nah i dont believe you, i think you're lying, yeah, whatever, bye bye bye bye bye" and he hung up on me, but not before i asked him if we were going to stay friends. He replied "friends. friends?! why should we be friends??" and im like "because i hate when relationships end badly." and hes like yeah whatever bye and hung up. 15 minutes later, he calls me back, and mara picks up because i dont feel like talking to him (can you blame me), and she pretends to be me (which i didnt want her to do) and i guess Dave was trying to apologize and she was like "fuck you! this entire relationship has been based on lies!" Meanwhile, im going "mara. mara! MARA!! give me the PHONE!" Suddenly she gets this surprised look on her face and i asked what he said to her, and she said he was like "I'm so sick of not being with you." Mara was like "Oh no Dave, dont even start this again, dont do this again," and then she finally told him that she wasn't me because i was yelling at her to give me the phone. So I grabbed it from her and talked to him, and he was like "This is a bad time to have this conversation." I'm thinking, "yeah, no shit, you just told me we couldn't be friends and hung up on me after accusing me of hooking up with one of your friends in your own house." but i was like "no just tell me". And he goes "Im sick of not being with you.....I mean, i miss you, and....i want you back." and i was kinda sitting there in shock that he had the nerve to do that, so I ask, "Are you drunk?" and he tells me no, but he misses me and blah blah blah. And then he said that this was a bad conversation to have over the phone, and im thinking...so whyd you call me. but anyway, he told me to call him later or we should talk in person or something since i was at dinner, and i was like ok, fine.
Then today I was calling people to see if we could set up a big group to go bowling or something. And i was talking to Ian, and I told him what happened, and he told me that Dave had lied and that he had been mad wasted, because he had called Ian around the same time that he called me and he told Ian he was drunk. He ALSO told Ian that he thought he wanted to get back with me, and Ian was like yeah whatever man you're just drunk, and Dave's like "no, i really do...i just want some action." And when i heard that I was like "oh he did not say that." So i thanked Ian for letting me know, and called dave, and left him a message cuz he wont answer, asking him to call me back and fucking explain what the hell he was thinking. Not that i wouldnt get back with him, im just not sure that i would either. The fact that he was drunk and then LIED about it just pissed me off, since the fact that he lied a lot was the major reason i was glad the relationship was over. If he had sincerely apologized for everything (SOBER) and wanted to get back together, I probably would have apologized for anything I had done too and I would have given him a second chance, if I really thought he was being sincere and he was actually going to put an effort into a good relationship. So basically, the circumstances and the timing were all wrong, and he just fucked everything up again.
On the other hand, it might be a good thing if he was drunk and didn't mean it. I've already moved on like halfway, so I still love him but it's too late to go back now, and after everything that happened before, I realllly don't want to go through another break up with Dave, even if we stayed together for a long time. I'm already hanging out with other guys and just having a good time, and i don't want to go back to Dave and all the lies and the hurt and the frustration. It was good in the beginning, when he was actually a really sweet guy. He would always gently tap my chin with his finger and say "got you" or come up behind me and put his arms around me (thats the best, when a guy does that) and kiss my neck or nibble my ear, and he was just the sweetest guy ever. Then things gradually went downhill, and it all started when he hooked up with meghan at joe's. he fucked things up and he never really tried to fix it. His apologies were always "I'll make it up to you" and "it wont happen again". But then something ELSE would happen that was different, but just as bad, and id hear the familiar "ill make it up to you." Yeah, he snuck out of his house to come meet me, and when he got caught it really wasn't that big of a deal, because his mom never sticks to her punishments, and especially not like my parents do. It just seemed that after a while he knew he had me hooked and he stopped putting effort into the relationship. And the fact that all he wanted was action last night makes it even more obvious that he saw our relationship as physical, and that he was never really emotionally connected to me.
A boyfriend should be someone you can talk to and have fun with, but without always having to do everything physically. When physical connections are the strongest communication you have in a relationship, it doesn't last long, because if you can't communicate your emotions verbally (and honestly), accompanied by your actions, your emotions obviously aren't strong enough for you to be able to comfortably express them with words. When i say accompanied by actions, I mean the things you do for the other person, not sexually but just in general. You always have to give something up in a relationship, whether it's your time, your bad habits or your opposition to something. Love is based on how much you are willing to sacrifice for the other person, and you don't have to tell them what you would be willing to do, but know it in your heart, and that is the essence of love. Words and actions show them how you feel, and it is all emphasized, but not held together, by your physical and sexual bond. Also, no one can have the upper hand in a relationship for it to work. When one person has the upper hand, the other person constantly feels like they are giving up everything, while the other person is contented because they feel in charge. In an unequal relationship, there is usually no mutual love. In a mutually loving relationship, each person should be happy because the OTHER person is happy, not because they themselves have more power, and they should feel sad if they hurt the other person. If you are always happy when the other person is happy, and they are always happy when you are happy, that is a loving relationship that is strong, because both people are constantly giving to each other in order to keep their partner happy. This goes back to the whole idea of sacrifice. Sacrifice comes with love, and with sacrifice is born happiness for both you and the other person, which keeps your love for each other going. This is a balanced cycle, which is the foundation for a good, healthy, strong relationship between two people who love each other. This is why when someone has an upperhand in the relationship, the underdog is usually the one who is in love, and the other person is just taking advantage of their partner. This kind of relationship sometimes lasts a good while, but it is not a healthy one because there is no mutual love. If the person in the advantageous position doesn't love their partner, they are bound to do things like cheat and lie because they don't love their partner the way he/she loves them. The underdog is only happy as long as the other person is happy, but as soon as they realize that their partner does not love them, this translates to unhappiness in both positions, and the relationship usually ends. A relationship is fueled by love, which breeds sacrifice, which breeds happiness, which breeds equality, which breeds trust, and all of these things go right back to love. And it is all energized and helped along with your physical and verbal communication, but not anchored by it.
So there's my take on relationships and love. Jesus I just wrote an essay. That's enough deep thought for one day, maybe someday I'll find the guy who believes the same things I do about love and trust. I'm not saying a relationship has to be exactly like the above for me, I know I'm probably not going to find that in high school. All I want is a relationship that is based on the above, it doesnt have to be exactly like I described, but it should try to be. Equality is key. Maybe I'll post my essay on forgiveness and equality next lol. I'm sure it would help a lot of people if they took the time to read it. | | |
| Travis came over last night, we watched 40-year-old virgin. We just talked, but he's a pretty chill guy, there's a lot about him I didn't know, and we have a lot in common. I'm going to Applebees and a movie tonight with Mara, Nico and Ryan and maybe some other people.
Next weekend I'm having a bunch of girls sleepover, we're gonna smoke some ganj and watch half-baked and harold and kumar go to whitecastle, and if I can get ahold of some vodka, that'd be pretty sweet. I'm still working out a plan, but hopefully we'll either be able to sneak out and go somewhere or we'll be able to sneak some guy friends in and just chill all night. (no, its not a big sex orgy). Either way it's gonna be fun.
After next weekend though, I think I'm gonna start cutting back on all the drinking and weed and stuff. I mean, if opportunity knocks, I might answer, but I'm not going to go out of my way to get it.
I just got back in touch with a lot of my old friends from Princeton, and a lot has changed. Some people have moved, other people's intense personalities have become even more intense and reached the extreme, and other people have just emerged from house arrest by the Nazis (aka lauren and her parents). I heard Amy got really hurt in a car wreck, so I really hope she's ok. Some people haven't changed and are still the same people they were last year, but what can you expect? Hopefully they'll grow up in time for college. I heard Chris got screwed over by some girl, so thats messed up. I might not have the whole story but from what I heard, i can only say she's a bitch to do that to him. Lou's the only one who seems like he hasn't changed much (since summer, anyway), so thats good. I might actually be stopping by in February, we're going on a road trip all the way up through Maine to look at colleges, and I think I would kill my dad if we passed through Princeton and didn't stop. Anyway, hugs to everyone in Princeton, hopefully I'll get to see you guys if I visit, and keep in touch.
I'm in the middle of registering for my Latin class at Dickinson, and I just found out there are only 5 people in the class. Woot woot. Yeah. Kinda sucks, i was planning on meeting people and going to some college parties. On the other hand, its a junior level latin class, so everyone in it is probably a latin freak like me, and latin freak and party freak usually dont fit in the same sentence, much less the same person.
im out. happy friday | | |
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