Today is gonna be a pretty crummy day I can feel it. Yesterday at work I kept going into these coughing attacks at work and had no energy at all but knew I had to push past it all. Then I came home and called my dad back  and he told me my dog Noel(back in Missouri) was hit by a car the night before and didn't make it. She was 12 years old in Sept. She was my favorite dog I ever had with all the moving we weren't able to have many animals go with us. Well I even remember the day we picked her up from the pet shop. My dad was like Rachael you gotta come see this dog every week she keeps costing less in price come see what you think. So him and I went and she was an adorable hyper puppy. Everyone in the store loved her also and knew she needed a home soon. I remember looking through this window that had cages behind it and the workers went in and let her out and then also out into the main part of the store. She went crazy running around in circle other customers there smiled and laughed at her. She was so happy she was finally getting a home. If I remember correctly I think we got her for free cause as the prices on here were going down cause she needed a home so badly when we told them we'd take her she was ours free of charge.  I also remember taking her home and I was walking her outside our apartments and my mom and her friend were talking and mom asked who's dog is that. I smiled and said she's ours :) She apparently didn't talk to dad yet....However we all fell in love with her quickly and she was handful.  I remember that Christmas which wasn't to far away from when we got her she ran under the tree and grabbed a present and ran down the hall with it. We found her in my room tearing it open it was a barbie doll. I was like you can have it lol.  From there later on we moved out to the farm and she loved the space 112 acres. We loved it also. My grandpa and grandma had built a bed and breakfast and had it on the land which included 2 2 acre ponds, woods, and fields. It was so beautiful out there so I enjoy going back there every chance I get to visit home and family. I'll some time have to put some pictures I have up of what it looks like back home in Missouri. But back to Noel she was awesome since I was homeschooled when we moved out there I would sit on her doghouse with her and study she loved the attention and sometimes would be a distraction. Other times her and I would run through the woods together with my other 2 dogs and investigate stuff or just enjoy the wildlife. Every time I've gone back home and I'd call her name from the car she'd start looking around and then get so excited when she saw me step out. I would run to her and she'd jump up into my arms. And she's a good 40#. When I could go back I would bring all the dogs some kinda of treat bone for them and they went crazy.  Noel loved the real long leg bones or knuckle bones.  I remember when it would snow outside and we got sweaters for them they'd look so cute and warm in them. Or if it got to cold we'd bring them inside and Noel would usually curl up with me on the couch or bed. I still can't believe she's really gone. When my dad told me it was like a dream and I just wanted to wake up and know she would still be there when I came to visit in a couple months. Only a couple months away and I could have been with her. I wanted to go home for the holidays but financally I couldn't when they doubled the price so I told my folks well I'll come in a few months and can see you guys and Nelly belly is what we nicknamed her ;)  So now when I go back to visit I'll have to see her gravesite instead. I keep asking myself and God WHY? Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't it have been put off for awhile longer? Why? My dad said she was pretty messed up so they got a stretcher and brought her off the road and then just held her and loved on her as she slipped away and prayed that God would take her away quickly so she wouldn't have to suffer. She then went quick. They buried her next to a tree and so she has a gravesite I can go visit whenever I visit home. I want to make a memorial of pictures like in a slideshow for her even if some say she's just a dog, well to me she wasn't to me she was a really good friend in every way. Just to listen to me or comfort me or just have a good time she never let me down. She would come rest on my lap if I was sad and just lay her head down, she was AWESOME. I will miss her more than one can imagine she was so meant so much to me. I still wish it was all a dream and I would wake up and go home in a few months and see and hold her. I tried to sleep last night  with all these thoughts in my head and still today and probably for awhile. And since I've been fighting this cold I woke up about every hour coughing and choking and aching cause of all the coughing. So then my alarm goes off and I have to get up for work. I could care less about work right now with how I'm feeling about last night with my dog and lack of sleep and you'd think with all the coughin I would have a six pack stomach by now heh. So I call in sick I think it's my 2ND time this year to do it. And the person gives me a hard time about it I'm like I'm sick I can't help it I can't breathe, talk, I hurt, and emotionally it's gonna be hard working with dogs today like it was when my kitten died and I had to go to work. It's not an easy thing having to hold and comfort these cats thinking you can't do this to your own one anymore. It stinks. So I was like there's enough people to cover and yes we're busy but we've done it before when someone else was sick. Well she just complained cause well that's her and that's more work. I mean yes it will be hard working with one less person on a very busy day but I can't help I'm sick and my dog died. So I called my other supervisor and told her the story and she said well call me around noon and we'll go from there and in the meantime feel better about everything and just ignore how the other girl treated you, you can't control it.  So here I sit tired, no energy, depressed, hungry, can't sleep well cause I keep waking up coughing and afraid to eat cause with the coughing it might come up also. Wondering what's going to happen next. Well I took some medicine so hopefully it'll kick in soon and I can try and get some sleep in for a bit and then when I call in later they'll say I can stay home and I can just relax and get better soon. 

Sorry this post is so long, I think it's a record for me but I wanted to update everyone and then really just needed to talk about it with someone.