As of right now, as I type this entry, I am inside of the Main Stacks. I am currently in cubicle C59, and it is 11:47PM, kicking off a long night. I have to finish my Chinese essay corrections, and memorize them for my oral presentation tomorrow, finish my lab so that I can ask Ann for questions if I need to and help Lawrence if he needs it later, start my Bio lab prelab (which ought not take too long), and work on my physics lab. Plus, I need to finish the Mastering Physics homework. This is just by the end of the week. I also need to catch up on all the reading that I haven't done. I'm still a month behind in bio, and I'm now about 2 chapters behind in Physics. It's still going to take a while. I must also write another Chinese essay.
I feel utterly and completely depressed at this moment. I forget that I get emo pretty easily, and right now is a pleasant reminder to the extent of my emo-ness. I wish I could turn back time, to the beginning of the semester, or even back to Spring Break so that I could have been a little more productive. I wish I didn't get sick. I wish I could stop finding a scapegoat. I don't know if I can handle this anymore. I'm running on four hours of sleep. No naps at all today. Today might be another repeat of last night. I'm so tired... I won't be free from this until after next Saturday. I don't even want to go out and do fun things anymore. I don't even feel like going to church or doing any of the small group stuff on Friday. All I want to do is sleep. Or study effectively.
I wish I brought my earphones to the library...
Comments (2)
Ah, the life of the Berkeley student. And to think that high schoolers fight each other tooth and nail to be in the spot you are now.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I tanked four homework assignments, all due today (well, I guess yesterday now) and messed up my midterm, also today. I'm still sick, and I have two midterms next week (on the same day, I might add).
I suppose that wasn't encouraging, but I do believe things will get better. If nothing else, just five weeks of school left. Hang in there.