Wednesday, March 12, 2008

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  Life doesn't stay sugary-sweet for long. Eventually something comes along and knocks it off course. A lot of times things come along that hurt your feelings. I just go with it. Unfortunately, you can't fight life.

  Distance. It's how we are defined. Even more so now. Let him be scared and worried about the future. I've comforted him as much as I can. Now it's his job to get over it.

  One thing has come from it, though. I remembered who I am. I am a strong, independent woman. Perhaps I went a step too far. I almost let my relationship define me. It got me stuck in limbo. It delayed my growth in deciding who I want to be. It challenged me, though.

  Maybe we've been holding on to the life jacket too long, trying to stay afloat when there is no land for a thousand miles around. Maybe it's time to let go and sink down Into The Ocean. Is it time for little Marian to experience her first heart break? There is a time for everything under the sun.

  The sky reminds me of blue watercolors.

  What's it like to just be friends with someone after you've loved them? It's a shame, though, that our relationship might end up reduced to my just being another half-hearted friend on his buddy list.

  And the trees are green velvet.

  I worried at the beginning that I would unintentionally leave him behind. I think he's realizing that that could happen now. I may go into the Peace Corps. 27 months. I don't know if he will wait.

  Every dew-drop is a glass pearl that can't be held.

  Things were fine. Things are always fine until he decides that they are not. Maybe he went too far this time. He killed some of my feelings for him. Maybe I should let the rest of them go and wait for him to grow a backbone and deliver the final blow.

  Maybe. There is a time for everything under the sun.

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