Well, i guess it doesn't really matter how grammatical i am, i dunno, well i guess not. So this is my second attempt at Xanga, the first one was a bust cause i didnt know how to use it, but someone ;) showed me how so its ok now.

So i was sitting here wondering what to write and i heard the most amazing song, its EXACTLY where im at! Here I am Lord and I'm drowing
In your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where you found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight

I know you've cast my sins as far
As the East is from the West
And I stand before you now as
As though I've never sinned but today
I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From you leaving me this way

Jesus can you show me
Just how far the East is from the West
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day the war begins
And less reminding of my sin
Time and time again
Your truth Is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From you leaving me this way

I know you've washed me white
Turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me trough
To get through this night
I can't live by what I feel
But by the truth your word reveals
I'm not holding on to you
But your holding on to me
Your holding on to me

Jesus, you know just how far
The East is from the West
I don't have to see the man I've been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest 
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other

Wow, music is a HUGE part of my life, its how i express exactly how im feeling! Ive never been very understood by anyone, until recently, so it was hard to tell people anything. Now ive been freed from the chains of loneliness! God has done some powerful things in my life over the past 2 months, its incredible, i went from not having any aim, no real passion in life, to having an entire "plan" for the rest of it! I cant believe how amazing i feel, but at the same time i feel that God has chosen wrongly as the song says i feel one mistake away from Him leaving me this way. I feel so small compared to what i know i must do! It seems so impossible, so out of my reach, though i KNOW God is the one guiding me, i feel like at any given time, i could say the wrong thing, not do what i was supposed to, or even think the wrong thing and it would all be over. Right now, i know alot of what God wants me to do! I KNOW IT!!! and i know that God will make it happen, no matter how impossible i think it is, in fact probably in spite of how impossible i think it is...lol...but im just scared, truly scared. The most beautiful thing was given to me this summer, and i would stop at nothing to keep it, but i am so scared of becoming a dissappointment that it almost keeps me from moving foward, which i know would be the biggest dissappointment, but, well you get my reasoning! Anyways, i am totally TOTALLY excited to see what lies ahead.