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Weblog » Archives » July 2003

for the past few days things have been good...but not today. I don't know why but today just wasn't a good day. I even went shopping and got some new clothes and still not happy!!!! Of course we all know why I'm not havi…
I went to my doctor today...got blood drawn for an STD check. Not like I am really worried or anything, but i know it's the safe thing to do. Matt, the REALLY hot guy who I met the other day went with me. I was just gunn…
I don't want to talk about Justin anymore....all i am going to say about what he and I talked about the other day is that I lost him....the thing that scared me the most was losing him, and now i have lost him. I LOVE D…
so Justin and I talked a bit today...things did not go so well...i want to crawl in a hole and die! i would elaborate on what happened, but i cant right now...i feel so drained. I feel so rejected to make things better.…
I want to talk to Justin again! After talking to him the other day I don't know what to think! This is driving me insane!!!! I want to settle things...hopefully the outcome will be good (i dont wanna jinx it!) If only …
I seriously did not expect Justin to call me...I honestly thought that maybe he just didn't care about me and was happy with everything in his life and wanted to ignore me....i was wrong....he called. It was so unecpecte…
My best friend is FINALLY back from camp!!!! just for a day tho...but still! I havent seen her since i moved back home over a month ago. She called me up sayin she was in town....so i told her we had to hang out and that…
a brief summary of my weekend....spent friday and sat being a wreck crying and all. Got to drink of friday night...it was nice. Didnt get too drunk tho...my stomach is so sensitve from throwing up often that I could bare…
Xanga people are the best! You know you you are! Those who have left comments, even people who care enough to want to talk to me online or even on the phone from across the country! It really means a lot to me that peopl…
now I guess I should explain.... Justin IM'ed me out of the blue saying "i have a new bf, im sorry. we havn't had sex, but i wanted to tell you before i move on." He said they just met LAST WEEK and the he is "the one".…
Justin has a new bf!!!!!! omg....i don't know what will happen to my mental self...i can't even really do this...ill write more about this later....im so numb! i know ill be a wreck!
So I was driving to Danville to hang out with my friend Kim today when I got a call from one of my frat bros, Chris. We talked a little and he asked if I had any plans for the weekend cause he was havin a BBQ, I said "no…
I think I should make a quick note of this, cause some people seem to think differently. Justin and I are no longer an official couple, read my entries from a few weeks ago and u'll see what happened. I'm not sure exactl…
I was sitting on my bed last night studying chem and I of course started to think about Justin. You never fully realize how great someone is until ur away from them. I know you've probably heard this many many times..but…
I talked to Justin on the phone yesterday. I was sort of nervous to call him, i don't know why, and to my suprise he actually picked up his phone. Usually when I call he doesn't answer and I have to leave a message and t…
I was talking to my friend Kamy, who I've known since HS and also go to UC Irvine with. She told me that she ran into an old friend of ours, James. He is my best friends ex bf. I haven't seen/talked to james since winter…
I just realized...It's only been ONE month since I've been home!!! It seems like it's been so much longer! I have another TWO left to go before I get back to Irvine. UGH! And I know that it's gunna be sooo slow. I also…
I've been having this reoccuring fantasy go thru my head a lot. and NO IT IS NOT SEXUAL! It's one of my hopeless romantic kinds of fantasies. It's about me going to see Justin, which I still don't know when it's gunna h…
OK, this entry is devoted to explain the whole situation with my parents and what they think they know... A few days ago, maybe last week, i kinda blew up at my mom when she got marinara sauce on my fav white shirt. She…
So as expected this weekend was actually fun. On the 4th my twin and I went to our friend's house in Livermore and used "safe and sane" fireworks, but after that we went back to Pleasanton to another friend's house for t…
I want to appologise to all my readers! I know i've been writing about Justin a whole lot, but I just can't help it! I write what is on my mind, and he is always on my mind! I just care for him so damn much! You're all p…
Parents can be so annoying sometimes! I went along and told my mom that I have to go to So Cal sometime soon cause some big important frat thing (altho that is a lie so I can see Justin) and she went off about how the fr…
Just on a side note...is it bad to be materbating about Justin?...cause everytime I do it's about him and remembering the pleasure we shared *sigh*
Got to talk to Justin online yesterday. It started off as just small talk and such. Then he asked "how are u handling things about us?" I dunno...guess he was a bit concerned as how I am doin. I told him the truth tho, I…