Weblog
Thursday, May 22, 2008
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Innocence
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students The teacher asked, 'Boy what is your problem?' Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!'
Mrs Neelam (aged 97) had enough.She took Boy to the principal's office. While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to
go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions
were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy: '9'
Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy: '36'
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Mrs Neelam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the third-grade.'
Mrs Neelam says to the principal,'I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?' The principal and Boy both agree.
Mrs Neelam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'
Mrs Neelam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
Boy: 'Pockets'
Mrs Neelam: 'What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,oval, delicious and contains a whitish liquid?'
Boy: Coconut
Mrs Neelam: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Mrs Neelam: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands
Mrs Neelam: 'Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?'
Boy.: 'Yep'
Mrs Neelam: 'You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.'
Boy: 'Tent'
Mrs Neelam: 'A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.'
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Vodka peg.
Boy: ' Wedding Ring'
Mrs Neelam: 'I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.'
Boy: 'Nose'
Mrs Neelam: 'I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.'
Boy.: 'Arrow'
Mrs Neelam: 'What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?'
Boy.: 'Firetruck'
Mrs Neelam: 'What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it u have to use ur hand'
Boy.: 'Fork'
Mrs Neelam: 'What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?'
Boy.: 'Surname'Mrs Neelam: 'What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, likes pumping, & is responsible for making love?'
Boy.: 'HEART'The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
'Send this Boy to National University. I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'
Thursday, May 01, 2008
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Leaps / Steps?
Question:
Do u believe in taking steps or taking leaps when it comes to moving on with life / seeking new adventures / in terms of life in general..
Saturday, April 19, 2008
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KAMASUTRA?
I asked the randomest thing to my mum right now about Kamasutra since she will teach Reproduction in her science class next week to the 13 yr olds. So i said kamasutra anyone as a joke?
And this is how the conversation went..
- (*) Maria Elena says:
kamasutra anyone? lol
(#)You are the sun shine of everyday , the reason for me to be (L) says:
what is kamasutra
- (*) Maria Elena says:
omg mama!
- (*) Maria Elena says:
haha
- (*) Maria Elena says:
kamasutra is this book
- (*) Maria Elena says:
with sex positions
- (*) Maria Elena says:
im sure they knw abt that, ur students
(#)You are the sun shine of everyday , the reason for me to be (L) says:
oh ok me not good at that :$
- (*) Maria Elena says:
hahahahhaa
(#)You are the sun shine of everyday , the reason for me to be (L) says:
OMG how come u know
(#)You are the sun shine of everyday , the reason for me to be (L) says:
perhaps i need to buy one
- (*) Maria Elena says:
haha why???
- (*) Maria Elena says:
why shud u buy one
(#)You are the sun shine of everyday , the reason for me to be (L) says:
what is it call kamasutera
(#)You are the sun shine of everyday , the reason for me to be (L) says:
just so I know
-----seconds later..
(#)You are the sun shine of everyday , the reason for me to be (L) says:
nahhhhhhhhhhh too late for me hahahhahaa
- (*) Maria Elena says:
hahahha
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LMAO!
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NO MORE CHICKEN?
Omg my mother just made my day!
I haven't had the chance to speak to her in ages, so we did earlier this morning
And haha she tells me the silliest and funniest stories ever!
I neeed to share one of her stories so bare with me!
Mama says:
u know a naughty girl said to me hey no more chicken
Mama says:
then I go u mean the chicken dance and she goes
Mama says:
no your arms no more fat no more loose fat you have no more chicken
Mama says:
HAHAHAHAH i was so amaze she would say something like that
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NO MORE CHICKEN! hahahahahha that girl was what 5/6 yrs old?
My mums a kindergarten gymnastics coach, so yeah when she talks about the things the kids say,
geez, its hilarious!
LOL, OK back to reality haha.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
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Advice for Singles
My mum wrote this in her blog. It also made me think, yes it's abit "jiwang" or how u say it in english "lame and pathetic or very cliche" but its the truth tho..
Before Marriage
HE : Yes! I've been waiting for this moment :)
SHE : Do you want to leave me ?
HE : No! Don't even think about it. :(
SHE : Do you love me ?
HE : Of course over and over :P
SHE : Have you ever cheated on me ?
HE : No, Why are you even asking that ? :(
SHE : Will you kiss me ?
HE : Every chance I get .
SHE : Will you hit me ?
HE : Are you crazy ? I am not that kind of person.
SHE : Can I trust you ?
HE : Yes :P
SHE : Oh Darling!!!
After marriage just read backwards
It was Funny but It is the reality , the truth ,at least in many cases
So replied that he needed to find the right person to avoid these things and so I got some advice for the single people out there;
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheeerfully.
TWO . Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR . When you say, 'I love you ,' mean it.
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX . Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE . Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt bu t it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. . In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN . Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN . Remember that great love and great achiev ements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN . When you lose, don't lose the lesson !
SEVENTEEN Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship..
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand but touches your heart.
So good luck searching for your second half ....


