Tuesday, May 06, 2008
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Bearers of Pain...
It's so weird. I was in a Pentecostal Camp with the emphasis on the "Fire" of the Holy Spirit. Great preaching. Lots of people present. Lots of people receiving a fresh baptism of God's presence. Tears and dancing. I also did some teaching to the Young People and loved their spirit. They were so hungry. It was fantastic. So what's so weird? Um, I didn't feel a thing. I should have, right? No tears, no shakes, no nothing. Okay, I did feel joy. But I am a joyful person anyway. Then yesterday in my office, no music in the background, joyful, and there was Davy G saying hi on my screen and while message-skyping with my friend and mentor, Dave Gibbons, something did happen.You see I have been feeling so burdened about our new church plant called NewSong. I am the site pastor and a missionary too. I have been feeling that I have not been able to give the church plant the time needed. I have been preaching a lot in other places. I am scheduled to preach in Hong Kong this weekend. Doors everywhere open for that kind of thing. It's been feeling like I am in emotional pain at times to know what to do with the doors. I have been feeling conflicted about how much time can I give, how much can I lean on the few guys that are leaders, and so many questions about how can I do my part.... Dave has a real gift called encouragement. It doesn't feel scripted. It doesn't feel fake. It is because Dave loves and is grace-filled. But as Dave and I messaged-skyped... I wanted to almost ask forgiveness about not doing a great job. But instead, Dave lifted my spirits. His simple words once again confirmed in my heart that I was in the right place. It is a process and a journey. And he left me with the phrase that made me weep. The leader's two main jobs is to bear pain and to build trust.That truth repeated mixed with the way I was feeling actually caused me to have a short weep. The Holy Spirit then and there filled my heart in my office all alone in front of a Samsung computer screen.Weird, eh?
Church: I am willing to bear some pain man!
Church: I want to build the trust!
(FYI: I am part of a growing emerging church movement around the world. We are trying to be less traditional and more welcoming to the people in our cultures who have no clue about what Christianity is really about.)
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Comments (2)
Being too busy with too many opportunities of open doors in ministry is a struggle to seek God in which ones for sure to do when it seems like things feel half done. I struggle with that. I let some things go at times. I praise the Lord you have saints that fellowship and encourage you! For me at times, my patience in letting God show me which doors is a challenge as I like to go so much. Yet, a couple weeks ago today, God did slow me down drastically! Things shift! I know my life will be changing some in years to come as it seems like this is a given time to be able to be confined to pray and study toward it and see what the past years here have done. It is a time of change for the next part that I don't know evern for sure it is but know it is coming! I pray that God continually gives you as you lead your family and your friends HIs wisdom and power to do what is needed! Your family is an encouragement!
c'est tellement beau comment tu l'as decrit. Notre ami est un don de Dieu, n'est ce pas?