you. yes you, oh imaginary and impersonal reader. i have missed you.
i was walking down the street tonight back in havertown, pa. the thunder clouds had rolled in and lightning was flashing and the rain had just begun to fall, but hardly. the sky was purple when the lightning flashed and i couldn't help but think, "it looks a lot prettier from my balcony in germany. i sure miss the hills." and then, right after that thought, "two years ago, i would have gone home and written a post on xanga about the lightning flashing purple through suburbia. i should start blogging again."
it was a strange thought. for like many of us post-moderns, i love and hate this screen in front of me passionately and at the same time. i hate that i am writing to an unidentified audience. i hate that i sit in my dorm 9 months of the year and watch my dear high school girls building relationships through facebook and myspace that they think are real, and failing to have a decent conversation with the person sitting in the chair next to them, real flesh and blood. i hate that technology claims to bring us closer and keep us connected but in truth seems to isolate us more and more. and yet, there's something about the possibility of someone reading what i write that motivates me to do it better than when i write in my journal only for myself. whatever that force is, i need it. that's why i'm back.
i want to remember the things that happen in my life, mundane and ordinary though they may be. i want to look back on purple lightning and suburban summer days and remember what it smelled like, the wet asphalt and warm rain. i want to write about the wilmington blue rocks baseball game and how my sisters and i (all 7 of us) cheered so loudly for jeff howell just because he was number 13 and we were watching the game on friday the 13th that our entire section of the bleachers must have thought we'd spiked the smoothies we were drinking but we were really just enjoying each other's company. i want to remember my brother's dog tucker and how brian talks to the animal like he's his kid (and well, he sort of is) and sends the little guy to his mat all the time when he's bad but how he can do something like 12 tricks in a row. and when i took him for a walk yesterday he got so wound up when we passed by another little dog that he ripped a hole in meghan's shorts, and the look on meg's face when she thought she was about to be pantsed by a beagle in the middle of the road.
and, well, i won't remember those things unless i write. and i won't write as much unless i think that maybe, somewhere, somebody else might care. even though really, this is mostly for me. i can't make any promises, but perhaps i will be here a bit more often for a while...
Comments (3)
I liked your writing 2 years ago..and I still like it. Keep it up!
:) you make me smile.
I like reading your stuff, too...
Love you!!!