Sunday, April 27, 2003

• i have so much to do in the next two weeks... my life shall pause during these two weeks and we all will endure nothing but pure agony.  for some, this pain is already too much to bear (see dean's letter at the end of this entry).  which reminds me, someone has to tell rich to stop crapping on the floor.  of course i'm just joking.  why do we always pick on rich?

  i'm tired.

  additionally... i have so much shit to do... fuck the education system... it makes me waste half of my life in training and payment so that i can make myself useful in the real world... doing what u ask? no one knows.  all this learning that is supposed to be going on is somehow gonna make me more useful to society.  none of this really matters, u realize?  what matters is how much ur parents make, so that they can pay a lot for a college that won't teach u shit.  the name of that college is what's gonna carry u further not the education u receive.  u could learn twice as much on your own and end up with a shitty job cause society has no faith in your abilities as an individual.  a complete dumbass from harvard will always get a better job than a genius from a broken home.  fucked up, isn't it?  or is it just me that's fucked up?  i've wasted half my life.  i could've died feeling like i've lived a complete life by now, but i've wasted all this time "learning"...

  song of this particular moment:  Alkaline Trio - Fuck You Aurora

  too much counter-strike recently... why must all the glorious things in life be so time consuming?  and why all the joyfully worthwhile things so limited?

  u know what's strange:  some of the coolest people that i know, i know only thru counter-strike

  something about being so dedicated to one thing or one goal makes ur personality more valuable for some reason.

  lastly... why is depression contagious? 

  i'm really just a sensitive artist.

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