Weblog
Thursday, June 26, 2008
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Poodle Poof
There once was a poodle, named Theodore. Theodore was shy and didn’t have a lot of friends. All the other dogs called him “nerdy” and saw him as a weak canine, but Theodore was a swimmer. He liked to swim everyday, and if anyone would race him, he would probably win. Though Theodore was the champion in the pool, he wasn’t seen to be so cool when he got out of the pool. One day, Theodore was in the pool, but when he got out and shook off the water, his fur immediately poofed out! The other dogs walking by began to laugh at him because his fur was so curly and poofy when it dried. Ashamed and blushing, Theodore put his head down, his tail between his hind legs, and walked away.
When Theodore got home, he saw his mom and started to cry. “What’s the matter, son?” she asked. Theodore replied, “I hate my poofy, poodle fur. All the other kids laugh at me when I get out of the pool because when it dries, my fur explodes with poofiness! It’s not fair. Why can’t I be like those retrievers with long golden blonde, silky smooth, fur? Or, maybe a Chihuahua that doesn’t have any fur? It’s not fair!” His mom looked at him with sympathetic eyes. After some silence she said, “Sweetie, you are beautiful the way you are. Sure, it is hard having a lot of poof as a poodle, but poodles are beautiful. That’s why so many humans love us! Be proud of your poof, son. I am proud of your poof, and you should be, too. Come with me; let’s get you a poodle cut so you can have a little more control over your poof”. After she talked to Theodore, the two of them set off to the groomer to get a poodle-cut. Theodore felt hopeful now that he was going to get his poof under control.
Theodore sat patiently while he let the groomer chop away his poof. When she stopped, he was sure it looked amazing. He imagined that his new look would be dashing, controlled, and would win the ladies over in a nanosecond. When the mirror came up, Theodore turned his head to look with a smile on his face. Then… GASP! Theodore gasped and yelped like something had just bitten him hard. His entire body was shaved and he had one big poof on his head! He could barely see himself in the mirror because it covered his eyes. Theodore was devastated. He was sure that everyone at dog school would laugh at him. The next day, Theodore tried to hide from all the other dogs, but he couldn’t stay hidden for long. A group of boy dogs found him and there was a roar of laughter. The girls heard this and walked over to see what they were laughing at. Some of the girls thought it was funny, but one girl named Linda kind of liked Theodore’s new cut.
After the other dogs left, Linda walked up to Theodore and said, “Hey, Theo. I like your new cut. It’s cool”. Theodore replied, “Theo? Me? Yeah, right. Everyone else is laughing, don’t you see?” Linda giggled and said, “Theo, don’t worry about them. They only laugh because they find something wrong with themselves and want to feel better. So, they make fun of you. But I like your new cut. I think it’s cool, and you should too.” Linda walked away, and Theo was left feeling more confident. Then he remembered what his mom said about being proud. Theo chose to be proud. Theo knew that if he liked himself, then others would see the confidence he had. So Theo decided to stand up straighter, head lifted high. During recess, Theo stood tall and walked past the crowd of other dogs that were laughing at him earlier. Some of the boys began to snicker at him again, but the girls saw his confidence and they were silent. All the girls did was watch him walk by and they smiled. The other boys who had been snickering saw that the girls liked Theo’s new confidence, so they stopped laughing.
The next day, was quite a sight! Theo walked into dog school and when he looked around he saw that all the girls were smiling at him and all the boys had new haircuts, too! Interestingly, everyone’s new hairdo was the same as Theo’s, but since Theo was the only poodle at school, no one’s hair or fur looked like his. Only a poodle could pull off this particular cut, and the lady dogs liked the style on Theo. All the girls ran up to Theo, talking and smiling. Though Theo was shy, he remembered that his mom told him to be proud that he was a poodle. He was grateful for his mom’s wisdom because it was his confidence and love for himself that led other dogs to like him, too. Also, if it weren’t for his poodle poof, the haircut wouldn’t have looked good. So, yes, Theo was proud of being a poodle, and the other dogs were proud of being his friends. At the end of the day, Theo told his mom what had happened at school, and she smiled and said, “My dear poodle, I am proud of your poof”.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
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Focus
Focus.
It's perception, connotation,
interpretation. When you focus, you let all other things subside. The world
around becomes a blur and the only thing you know is that on which you
fixate. "I am focused", meaning, don't bother me. Or, it can mean
that I've lost my mind and everything else besides that on
which I am fixates or focused.
Dissociation. Focus. Focus on nothing. Focus on everything and everything becomes
nothing. The blur, the cloud.
It's an enigma, full of fear and mystery, yet pleasant in its ambiguity.
Focus.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
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The Growing
It's cold outside, but my mission to get this paper written surpasses any ideal comfort. I rush to the nearest Coffee Bean, hoping there are open seats to house my anxious typing. The automatic doors close behind me and I begin my endeavor. Yet, rustlings, purchases, spilling, cleaning, and more rustling about delays me by minutes at a time. Tick tock..tick tock...
3 hours pass, I have made one and a half steps of five. Tick tock, tick tock. But I am bored. The tedious task of tapping away at that which ceases to interest me but enthralls me at the same time. Paradox. Anticlimactic tendencies. Anxiety. Impossible resolution. Thomas Hardy. Neutral Tones.
Riiingg, riiinggg..."Hello!" gently exclaims her sweet voice.
K. Rae Sh. I miss her. "I miss you".
Dialogue, to and fro, passing between two separated individuals, beautiful women of the Lord. Time and space has torn us apart but only in the physical realm. But the Spirit keeps us kindred, of fellow-feeling.
Talk about the future, the passions, the heartache, the growing. The growing. What do we do? How do we do it? What are our callings? God leads us. We speak and think, we pray. Maybe our purposes aren't to change everything ourselves but to pray for change instead. I can't save everyone, but the Lord can. Yet, by no means do I give up. By no means do I leave the world unmarked by my endeavors and hopes. I must move, but if it is something that I expect to finish and complete in my lifetime, it is not my calling...for what I being in this life is to be completed by those that succeed me. Pass the baton.
The growing. We love over the growing. I miss growing with you K. Rae. Coffee just isn't the same without you. But the music remains. The music still plays gently on the strings of my heart.
We live, we grow. We grow. Together.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
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Okay, Now.
I'm doing better. I've slowly begun to make my way up the spiral. But, to tell you the truth, I had to hit rock bottom before I could begin my ascent.
The past week has been hell. It's still incredibly hard, and I can feel the struggle in my face. It hurts. I've been tried with conflicting emotions, thoughts, people, etc. But I eventually realize that God isn't willing to let me go. I'm not going to go into detail about it (if you want to know, just ask me), but it was quite a process of realization and self-denial. I've realized how hurt, angry, and unrighteous I've been. And today in worship, singing the words "clothe me in your righteousness" and "this is our cry, be glorified"said it all.
He's holding onto me tight. He won't let go. So, I suppose I won't either.
Cue said something today that really struck me: "Love isn't real until it's been tested". This isn't just true for human relationships; it's true about my relationship with God, and trust me, my relationship with God was most definitely tested this week. But, I think He's calling me to get to know him better. Maybe I've had a misconception of Him, or maybe different expectations. Maybe I didn't expect enough.
I think God is asking me to delve and dwell in the Old Testament. I think He wants to show me something, tell me something. I'm excited to meet Him there.







