ok so i made a new xanga but i realized that i want to come back to this one because just EVERYTHING is on here and it's so hard to keep track of everything if i have an old xanga and my new one.. but yeah... so i haven't written in here for awhile and i always say
that im going to, but i never put in the effort. but this weekend. so
many wonderful things happened. some my best friends graduated from
high school and last night (this morning) was amazing. and i realized that next year
is my last year of high school and i'm going to want to remember every
detail of the rest of my high school career.. so now i'm going to reall
try to put the effort to write in here like i used to on this and my
old xanga.. and speaking of old xangas.. xanga has really updated its
game haha.. but anywayssssssssssss the thing that inspired me the most
to write in here was what happened last night <33
ok
so yesterday night was amazinggggg. we [xavier and i] didnt like 'do anything' but
like. it was probably the greatest night i had all year like i dont
know how im even going to explain this. but ok.. ill just start when i
went to kay's grad party like allllll day then at like 5 i got a phone
call from adrians brother [julian] but it was xavier and he was like can we hang
out? and i was like ahhh i cant right now im gonna be at a graduation
party all day. maybe later. so he was like fine okay. so i got home at
like 10:30 and i was talking to him online and he was really bored and
we just had to see each other so i was like.. ok my parents seem like
theyre fixin somethin so i have to wait til theyre goin to bed. so they
finished my dad fell asleep but my mom was still asleep so it was about
like 12:15 when she finally went to bed. but then i waited another half
hour to leave so i knew that she was like legit asleep. so i text his
like screenname and im like im leaving now. so hes like ok me too. so
i go to my family room and i unlock the back door but i decided to
climb out the back window instead cuz it would make less noise. but
before i climbed out i waited like 10 more min just in case my parents
woke up and were like 'what are you doing up?' but yeah.. when i
finally got out i was so scaredd that iw as gonna get caught so i like
RAN down my street until i made it around to the end of the next
street. and then i called up craig and iwas like if anything happens be
ready to come pick me up lol. but yeah im walkin and i finally see
himmmmmm and we decided to go that little park near my hosue so we just
chilled there. at
first it was weird cuz we havent like really 'hung out' since like his
8th/freshman year. so yeah we went on the swings but then we started to
get liek tired and cold so we sat on this bench and we were just
sitting and talking for a bit but then we realized there were bugs so
we stood up and then we hugged. and it wasnt just like a hug. it was
one of those hugs ya know when you like just hold on as tight as you
can and like.i cant even explain how i felt. like i dont even know. and
then we layed down in the grass llike looking at the stars and the moon
and stuff because we used to have this thing about looking at the moon
and stuff because we used to stay on the phone til the sun rose so we
just like looked around and we were reminiscing and being like
'remember when this this and this?" and really dont know how to explain
this without sounding corny but he would just like hold onto me and it
felt like everything was back to the way it was. we were just laying
there and like looking at each other and the sky and like cuddling and
stuff it was just like all the bad things went away. but then it
started to get late it was like 2:30 and we were like we should go. so
we both got up and gave each other a hug. and it was that hug again but
for longer and he was like i dont want to go. and i was like me either
this is warm. and he was like yeah.. that, but i dont want to leave
youu. and i was like yeahh i juts want to stay here but you know we
both have to go. so we stopped hugging. and then we were like.. ok just
one more. so we just held onto each other.. and then finally we had to
go so we went our seperate ways. and
like when we were there together it felt like everything was back to
the way it was. like we were together again like seriously he was my
first love and it felt like that all over again. but the only
difference is that weve both like grown up and stuff idk. its like one
of those situations where you know that youll always love each other..
but w hen you have to leave you know that the other person still loves
you but you know that theres not going to be anything like a
relationship or anythign else expected .. ya kno? so we were walking like seperate ways.. and like i just couldn't look back because
like.. idk i just couldnt. but i just know that we'll always like..
mutually feel that way and have that like.. unspoken understanding i just wish it wouldve lasted longeri called my cousin after and she goes .. how do you feel sneaking out of your house? and i go.. like a badass but
OMG when i got back home. my dog started barking when i started walking
up the stairs .. so my parents woke up and were like why are you awake?
did you even go to bed yet? so
i was like.. i had to get a drink of water i was thirsty and they were
like why werent you using the lights? and i was like i didn't want to
turn them all on and wake anyone up. and they were lik ok whatever. and
then this morning my dad asked me about it again and he was like okayyy
dont stay up that late again cuz by the time i got back it was almost 3. ahh =) i dont think im ever doing it again.... well maybe
sorry for all the typos and whatnot.. this was from an AIM conversation and i didn't feel like retyping the story all over again =)
but yeah.. like i said. it felt like we were in love again.. like nothing ever changed. well things did change and we talked about it. we were extremely different people, yet the same when we were together. and when we walked away we knew that we had to let go of this night and go back to our regular lives, but we both know that there will always be a place for the other in our hearts.. no matter what. i love that boy so much.
this is for you <3
adrift - jack johnson
Your voice is adrift
I can't expect it to sing to me
As if I was the only one
I'll follow you
The leaf that's following the sun
When will my weight be too much for you?
When will these ideas really be my own?
Cause this moment keeps on moving
We were never meant to hold on
This was a scene worth waking up for
When I woke up
You planted me in my own body
Don't know why
But somehow it just feels so wrong
When you're sad I will be lonely
But when you rise again I'll become the sun
I will shine down upon you
As if you were the only one
Your voice is your own, I can't protect it
You'll have to sing
A verse no one has ever known
Don't be afraid
Cause no one ever sings alone
Your way will never be too much for me
Your ideas have always been your own
And this moment keeps on moving
We were never meant to hold on
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