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xXNothingxMachineXx
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Name: Nothing
Birthday: 11/21/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: Music. Friends. Movies. Tv. Games. Biking. Cats. Love. Animals.
Expertise: Nothing.
Occupation: I work at a Pet Store. It may
Industry: Pets
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
10/25/2007
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| FUCK MANSo I decided to stay up past 2 and that made it so I couldn't sleep at
all. It is now 6:20am and I have to get up at 10. I don't know what I
am going to do haha. Oh well.
I feel as if I am holding Devin
back. He is a young man, and I am the only girlfriend he has had. I am
the only girl he has kissed. The only girl he has done stuff with. He
is 19 already and I am not. He hasn't gone out to the bars or anything
yet. I feel conflicted. I love him so much and it would kill me to know
he kissed someone without being so drunk he did not know what was going
on. I wish I could talk to him right now to tell him how I felt. I want
to know how he feels about potentially never getting to kiss another
girl or do anything with another girl other than me for the rest of his
life. I don't really care about kissing or doing stuff with other guys.
I have had my fair share. I am fine with only having one guy for the
rest of my life. This is not a good feeling at all. He wants to go
drinking with his friend from Tim Hortons but her one friend always
ends up topless, and Devin said he wouldn't want to go because he knew
that it would make me uncomfortable. I feel horrible being the reason
he can't go out and have fun.
All I get to do lately is work,
and go to school. My only fun times are either at work, sadly enough,
or being with Devin [sex, watching shows, and just hanging out]. I
don't really have anyone else. I wish I could be one of those girls who
say as long as you tell me and you don't have feelings for them you can
do stuff with them. I am too jealous to do that. Devin is mine and all
mine. I hate thinking that he probably looks at girls and thinks about
doing stuff with them. I look at guys sure, but I do not think about
doing stuff with them. I would feel guilty. I feel guilty even thinking
a guy is cute. I don't know what is wrong with me right now. Something
is though. | | |
| School!School has been pretty cool.
My schedule is pretty calm other than walking back and forth to my car to move it so it doesn't get ticketed is really annoying.
The professors I have are pretty chill and different. I have the same professor for Music Appreciation and Philosophical issues. My comics teacher is a young guy who does not look that into comics I must say. My Primate Studies teacher is a somewhat eccentric lady. My Gender and sexuality teacher is a nice Muslim lady who is pregnant.
Tomorrow is Devin's birthday! He will be 19!
I have hung out with my Brothers Craig and Shaun a couple times in the last two weeks. It's fun. I have also hung out with my friend from the Computer courses, and the Nova Scotia trip Mike a couple times. It's been fun. Yesterday Mike picked me up and carried me to throw me into Devin for some reason unknown to me. It was like I was 5 pounds haha.
I have three fisheys. Tube, Turb, and Nuke. They are cute. They will probably die like the other two soon though. Boo.
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| 8 Days!School begins in basically a week. I found out that the course my Aunt took is only one semester. ONE MORE FREAKING YEAR OF SCHOOL! That is so amazing. I will be making money and on my own in no time.
Work was pretty lame today. I worked 1-8 which is a really boring shift. It is so dead until 5 but you have to look busy so I walked around a lot. My feet hurt now. Some drunk man wanted to see the kittens and he would not get out of the small animal house. I would of gotten in trouble if he was not drunk. He would not listen to me and he scared me so I just got my boss and she kicked him out the house.
Not only was I bored but I was tired seeing as my kitty decided to be a brat this morning. He got the Guinea Pigs worked up so I had to move their cages. When I get woken up I get really bitchy so I was cursing at my cat. I felt bad later because it is not his fault he wants attention at 7am. Before bed each night I am going to move the Guinea Pig cages if I am at Devin's. He can sleep through anything the lucky boy. He most likely called the high school today which is good. He seems happier lately which is good. I love my Devin.
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| 12 Days RemainThere are only 12 days left of summer holidays, well now it is almost only 11 days. Out of these 11 days I know I work 9 of them. I hope I do not work on the 31st seeing as I want to go to at least one party during the summer. I have not drank since one night I played Halo3 until 5am. I do not remember when that was but it was a while ago.
Devin and I have been spending a lot of quality time together, well at least I see it as that. We sit around and watch Tv, or movies together and we talk a lot more again. That makes me feel a lot better. He does not seem upset about going to high school anymore. This makes me really happy because I do want to buy a house with him and marry him and so on and so forth. He makes life feel normal. It feels normal to be around him. It just feels like it is supposed to. When I do not see him for a while things begin to feel weird and I do not like it. I love him.
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| Better than YesterdayAlthough I am really tired today I feel better now. I freaked out a little last night I admit. Accidentally I made Sean flip out on me in a complimenting way. Somehow between the swearing it made me feel better.  Thanks Sean.
Today I had to work 1-8. It was pretty lame seeing as I only had time to eat half of a sandwich in 7 hours. I was really hungry by the end of the night. Now I am sitting here after drinking some warm milk with instant coffee and hot chocolate mixed in there. It tasted pretty good but it leaves a gross after taste.
Well I guess I'm off.
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