.. A FUCKING CIGARETTE!!!!!!!!! I just want to go back to the old days of sitting outside with a cup of tea and a cigarette in the morning and a vodka and coke and a cigarette in the evening. Grrrr.

I shall start from the beginning. I got to uni and was smoking a lot. It calmed down after a few days. Now, after I criticised my flatmate for drinking too much coke, I have stopped smoking, and he has stopped drinking coke. But coke is not a proper addiction and I love my cigarettes. I have gone a week so far. I know that they are bad for me but I dont care. Well I do. I havent cut since getting to uni and I think that should be rewarded with the other thing that is bad for me.

I cant decide whether to just betray his trust (its not his place to tell me I cant smoke) or just break the pact. He will lose all respect for me. This is good and bad. Bad because i really like him. Good because I think I like him too much. However, another friend who I think I like too much is against smoking. But he acknowledged that it wasnt his place to tell me not to smoke. Which is good.

Anyway. Uni is great, if you are deciding whether or not it is for you, just go for it. It takes a while to get into the swing of things, socialising wise, but get in with sociable flatemates and they will introduce you to people. And try to get to like the people on your course. I am just having such a good time.

I am going home next weekend but I regretted booking the tickets!! I want to stay here. But I do need to get stuff for my course which will be easier done there and I can see my dad and my best friend. I havent told them I'm coming home, it's my mum's birthday present.. Hopefully it will suffice lol.

No special updates. My flatmate and I got exceedingly drunk the other night and I remember rolling around on the floor with him a lot and passing out on his floor. And thats about it. Sometimes he can be really nice and other times he is such a twat. Probably best if I stay away.

Oh yeah, Poltron78 I agree with the whole stop drinking thing. Its bad kids!!!! leave it alone.

1) Loss of control

2) Extreme weight gain

3) Not an attractive look, passing out everywhere

4) Dont want to get addicted!!

5) Throwing up anywhere is gross and very unattractive, talking from experience here!

6) Hangovers! Waste of a day.

Dont want to sound like your rents..

xxxxx

I am going to university in 4 days. I am so excited!!!!! Cant wait to get away from this shitty town where you cant sleep for constant noise. My uni is in a small town in the country, I am hoping it wont be noisy... I want to get back to country-ness. And living on my own, with people my age. And learning stuff. And stuff. Yeah I'm excited about the whole prospect.

The pirate party was awesome. Went for my last saturday night out in newton last saturday! It was RnB night tho which kinda sucked. We went out for a fag, came back and they were back to playing regular music!

I'm not sure what possessed me to dye my hair 'black-red' the result is that my roots (light brown) have gone bright red and the rest of my hair is black with an almost completly non-existant red sheen. I have been dying my hair for two years, you would have thought I'd learn.

Am meeting up with lots of people today before going to plymouth for 2 days. Its all a bit busy.

not sure if i have managed to fix my computer or if i am just used to the big format. either way its not tooo bad i dont think....

Oooo went to the bank yesterday and my ex-best friend was working there. I really hate her for what she has turned me into. Im not gonna go into what happened between us but it was to do with the self harm and the eating stuff. I got the feeling I get when im really nervous. My stomach was flipping and then the whole time I was at the counter, with her poncing around like she owned the place, ignoring me even when i smiled at her trying to be nice, my leg was shaking. quite obviously i thought. I had to go smoke lots after. I really hate her. she makes me feel like a piece of shite. When shes the one who couldnt cope with me, couldnt help me, sent me into a spiral of god-knows-what, moved school to get away from me, failed her a-levels and is now a skivvy in a bank. I think ive got the upper hand.

Sorry about that. Im nervous cos Ive got to back to the bank.

Pics of pirate party:

just to prove it was a pirate party

just back from the beach, thats why we are not in costume

so basically, it rained. thats why the fire never came into being..

i didnt join in this, for obvious resons. i took the pictures. crazy people, it was fucking freezing

arrrrrrrrr

arrrr cool pirate tattoos. (dont be alarmed theyre not real XD)

Found this among pics of my brother's 6th bday party -

The woman behind me is my granny. We are so cool.