Thursday, May 01, 2008

• Currently Listening South of Heaven By Slayer see related

  cant type.

  am so tired.

  have been told to completely re jig my french oral. the real exam is next wednesday. im confident. ive changed so much in the last few years. my gcse oral was, according to my teacher, 'like sucking blood out of a stone' and since then a lot of blood has been sucked from me. under the blade of a knife.

  something i really want to be repeated. but i wont.

  i dont think the fact that i am trying to quit smoking is helping.

  i feel so tense. i feel like hitting something.

  like hurting something

  i have just finished my stupid cookery assessment write up. well i lie, i still havent done the time plan, the biggest part of it. i am now doing the french oral.

  i finished my biology coursework. finally. i am still 400 words short but i dont give a shit.

  i want to do my geography coursework. but that isnt due in for ages. i was supposed to do a geography essay today but didnt get around to it. it has to be handed in tomorrow. thank god i have plenty of frees.

  im shaking. i havent been drinking. i wish i had.

  was drinking like a fish last night, had some friends around. didnt go for anywhere near as many fag breaks as i usually would. it was lots of fun. nicely wasted.

  but now im tired. but must do french. but discovered that havent saved the latest copy so am having to type most of it up.

  i hate school. im not cut out for coursework

  or pressure

  or exams

  or just plain work

  am home alone at my grandparents cos they are away. i like being alone.

  why?

  i dont know.

  heavy breathing. so tired.

  must finish french cos she wants to see it tomorrow. ought to finish cookery but not going to. have to do that essay. and hundreds of biology questions. she also wants me to revise for a test on the same day as my french oral. no chance bitch.

  and then we have a geog test on thursday.

  why does it all have to come all at once?

  everyone keeps saying that it will all be over in 6 weeks. but u gotta get through those first. thats the hard bit.

  so many exams. french im getting passes. just.

  biology, no where near passes but only cos i dont revise. she said the other day ' you should be revising AS stuff when u have the time.' what time u fucking cow??? no time.

  no time

  arg.

  cold

  hot

  cold.

  french.

  • 10:36 PM
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