a blog on myspaceI started writing a song today. It goes something like this… “I spent one whole day without you And I’m not doing so well Just one whole day without you Feels like an eternity in Hell” My feelings are this…. I have nobody to blame. I have nobody but myself. I can’t stand myself. I hate me sometimes!!! I ask questions I don’t want to know the answer to a lot of the times cause I’m scared of what the answer will turn out to be. I am scared to be alone. And I am all the time. That’s why I call her all the time. I'm lonely. I'm really really lonely. I don’t know why. Maybe its because I have no friends where I live and I go to work in the morning and come home to an empty house in the evening. I feel so close to her when I just hear her voice. Its so soft, angelic and crisp…innocent. Its beautiful. She is beautiful. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I cant stand it…I'm about to go insane. There is a good side to this though. I have something to look forward to. When we get back together we are going to be so crazy about each other. She promised me. SHE PROMISED ME!!! WE ARE GOING TO GET BACK TOGETHER I'm crying now I'm so sad. I cant stand this. It hurts. It hurts it hurts. I feel like I have nothing anymore. And she didn’t take anything from me…I lost it all. That’s what I feel like. I feel like I just totally destroyed something that was amazing. I feel so alone. I hate it! I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!! Why do I always seem to mess things up? Why am I always the one that…..ugh. I'm not even going to finish. HE doesn’t think I am good enough to her! I got news for him. I never lied to her! I’m the best boyfriend she can ever have…not him! I don’t know him that well, and obviously her doesn’t like me…and I really don’t care too much for him. He just wants her back. He hates me. I don’t hate him. I try so hard to be a nice guy. I try really hard to make her happy. Its all worth it! Just to see a smile on her face, that lets me know why I exist. I LOVE HER SO MUCH! I don’t know what I am going to do without her. I don’t know how long I am going to have to wait for her to sort out what she is going through. Why cant she let me be there with her? I don’t know… She doesn’t have to go through this alone. She can have me. I WANT TO BE THERE FOR HER!!! I feel like she doesn’t want me. Shes not happy with me. Shes not happy being with me. She wants to date me, and she doesn’t. That breaks me heart!!!! I will be with her to the end of eternity. I WILL!!! I love her. I will love her no matter what. If she is as big as a house, if she cut her hair, if the got 10 million holes in her nose, if she got covered in ink. I WILL LOVE HER!!!! She loves me. She told me so. She loves me…she loves me…she loves me. . . Please come back baby….please…..I love you | 
