i'm a NINJAA, and live in the middle of NOWHeRE,, i'm usually quiet unless i'm around my friends, then i'm extremely loud, obnoxious, and some of the time a bitch, but a cool bitch.. i have some awesome friends who i luv with all of my heart. my enemies are assholes, but thats probably my fault.. i luv music ecspecially HIM, JONAS BROTHERS [are the shit], Tool, and A7x.. BATMAN ROCKS (in case you forgot) I need to learn to let go of stuff, but I can't seem too for some reason & it's tearing me apart on the inside..
Say my name and his in the same breath I dare you to say they taste the same
YAY! my internet's working again!! I'm so happy so here's an update I talked to Troy the other day, which was pretty cool cuz I haven't talked to him since he got shot in the face.. he's doing good... and somehow we ended up talking about Jordan and he explained to me why he acts the way he does
but its still no excuse
.1.
Cheers to lost love&broken hearts and nomatterwhat you can never fully
forget it
.2.
Sometimes when you try to find yourself you end up losing s o m e o n e e l s e
.3.
It had been a longtime since he had last told her he loved her and even longer since she believed him
so much had happened to the both of them that she worried nothing would ever be the .same. but that night when he kissed.her.neck took her hands in his and said "i love you" she knew he meant it it was like nothing had changed
.4.
Cancel my subscription I'm over your issues
.5.
You have a way of coming easily to me And when you take the [very best] of me So I start a
fight because I need to feel something And you do what you want because I'm not what you wanted
.6.
Don't forget what people say when their mad because thats when the truth comes out
.7.
How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon? +Dr. Seuss+
.8.
L is for lies I willingly believed O is for the other girl that was chosen .over.me. V is for the vicious way you brokemyheart E is for everything we could've been, ((had you not torn us apart)) This is what L O V E means to me after what you've done So, congratulations boy, you've won
.9.
He was only temporary but the memories are permanent
.10.
She was a beautifulgirl she was wild as the wind on top of the world UNTIL she fell in love with him
.11.
T r u s t
is like a mirror Once you breakit you can never look at it the same way again
.12.
Girls are like apples on trees The best ones are at the top of the tree The boys don't want to reach for the goodones because they are
afraid of falling and getting hurt Instead, they get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but [easy] So the apples up top think something is wrongwiththem, when in reality they're a.m.a.z.i.n.g They just have to wait for the right boy to come along The one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top
.13.
If at first you don't
succeed ask him if he has a brother
.14.
When you get bit by a snake, you have to suck all the poison out That's what I had to go do suck allthepoisonoutofmylife
.15.
Maybe he's the one you want but maybe he's not the one you need
.16.
Nothing about us makes
sense but in my heart it's the easiest thing to understand
.17.
You're a pretty smart kid, but there's [alot] of things you don't know You don't know I cry myself to sleep
every night You don't know how I feel whenever your eyes MEETMINE
.18.
You're only as strong as the tables you .dance.on. the drinks you mix and the friends you roll with
.19.
CONFIDENCE
: wear it like make-up
.20.
We just layed there while he told me how much he loved me without saying anything And if there ever was a more perfect day in the history of time
it wasn't one I've heard about
.21.
Call me crazy but I still believe very much in untainted, (unchanging), everlasting LOVE Despite the heartbreak and DISSAPOINTMENT that follows each mismatch I've never failed to pick myseld right back up
.22.
I love the way you talk.to.me our little [inside jokes] that mean so much more and baby I don't know how much longer I can go withoutyoubeingmine *hidden_disaster*
.23.
Who was I kidding baby? this wasn't meant to be I needed a believer & you needed to believe
.24.
I've given up on so many things and now I've given up on you
.25.
It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies but a great deal more to stand up to your friends -Dumbledore-
.26.
I will never forget those summer nights in the backsofcars, in the dark beneath fields of stars confessing everything that we are
.27.
Never argue with an idiot they drag.you.down to their level and beat you with experience
.28.
And did you know that you’re still the voice in my head? Did you know you’re the summer song that I can’t stop singing? Did you know that I still manage to [miss you] even though you broke me?
.29.
Words to live by: Do not go where the path may lead Go instead where there is no path, and leaveatrail
She's a casuality of all the pressure that we put on her && now we've lost her for good
Sorry its taking me so long between updates but my internet is a piece of crap && Since I couldn't update when I wanted to I made a long one & saved it on my computer too bad I'm not on my computer I'm on my mom's so I'm just gonna copy as much as I can
this one was made for Tuesday 9/29 The other night Jordan came over ((on his b-day)) looking for some human-bait cause he wanted to human-hunt Travis, but even though I don't like him I couldn't do it & so instead we hung out in my room for a little while [then he got on my bed with me] & he told me that he loved me and missed me and how things usedtobe & also how he wanted me to give him a SECOND CHANCE & I thought about it for a little while ((with him trying to get some)) then he told me: "if I decided to forgive him things would be how they used to be and if I didn't then he would leave me alone FOREVER" &FOREVER was too long without him and [(like a retard(no offense to anyone)] I forgave him &&then of course we hooked up, hung out for a little longer then he went home &monday morning on the bus he told me he couldn't date me cause "His dad thinks I'm a whore"(because of him) & "He was supposeed to get married to JJ's sister who he's scared of"(even though everyone knows that isn't true) &ever since then he's been ignoring me.. I can't believe I believed him AGAIN.. I really need to stop doing that Sorry but I needed to tell someone &that's pretty much what this update is about
.1.
Add me to the list of broken hearts you've collected
.2.
I'm afraid of you I'm afraid to fallforyou [again] I don't want to be vulnerable to you again I know what you can do to me
.3.
How could something that seemed so right turn out to be so wrong?
.4.
How do you prepare a heart to be [b r o k e n] or dreams to fallthrough? How do you let go of a miracle who means EVERYTHING to you? How do you walkaway with tears in your eyes? Letting go isn't easy, you can only pray you'll survive
.5.
You forced me to become strong When I craved to be weak
.6.
It was more than love for her. It was the feeling she got every single time his name was said, or when he brushed by her in the hall or held-her-hand. He was the boy she changed for, the boy she would have dropped anything and everything just to spend a night with him. Hewasalwaysthecenterofherworld; but she couldn't seem to grasp the concept that [(she was never the center of his)]
.7.
Say something funny, say something s w e e t, but don't say you loveme I'm still breathing but we've been dead for a while This sickness has no cure we're going down for sure
.8.
No matter how many times he hurts me I keep coming back Some call it stupid I call it love
.9.
You have this way of meaning everything¬hing to me, at the same time
.10.
Don't let him fool you he just wants to do you
.11.
Boy... you're killing her just because you can
.12.
I'm not saying I have nothing I'm not saying I'm gone completely It's just sometimes it's all a bit toomuch to handle Sometimes I feel like it's too much I'm not going to do anything stupid because I know it will get better, it has to right? Otherwise there wouldn't be anyone who would live past there teenage years But for now, just now, it hurts
.13.
Forever only lasts until the going gets rough
.14.
I don't know I don't want it to be like this I hate this I hate the way you've made me feel && I'm sick of pretending that it [doesn't.hurt.me] because it does
.15.
Why would you hurt someone who's been there for you through it A.L.L? Why would you hurt someone that you call your best friend? I've forgiven you so easily time and time again but this time you've gone too far
.16.
He's co confusing some of the things he says to me makes me believe that he really does like me & then some other things ha says make me believe that I'm just a girl who never crosses his mind
.17.
She rolled over and stared into his eyes "Promise you won't ever forget me again" he kissed her forehead and said "I never did"
.18.
You don't look good in my bed I take back every word that I said You don't know me like you think you do Truth be told, I'm just lying to you Yeah, I'm just lying to you and I can't keep crying for you
.19.
For just one night Then you'll go back to your life and I'll go back to mine
.20.
There are people in your life who've come&gone they let you down and hurt your pride Better put it all behindyou life goes on you keep carrying that anger it'll eat you up inside
Thursday 10/3 Yesterda I hooked up with Jimy, I guess it was a way of releasing my anger torwards Jordan or something.. IDK but this week's not my week
.1.
Everytime I go to giveup he shows me why I shouldn't
.2.
A goodfriend will talk with you about a boy you're thinking about but a best friend will blurt out "she likes you&wants to bang you!" right to his face
.3.
When life knocksyoudown, try to land on your back Because if you can look up, you can get up Let your reason get you back up -Les Brown-
.4.
What sick, ridiculous puppets we are, and what a gross little stage we dance on What fun we have, dancing&fucking, [not a care in the world] Not knowing that we are nothing We are not what was intended
.5.
The wind is blowing and the sun is shining Everything was going just fine But in the clouds, there's your face And the I remember your intoxicating embrace -albabellaquotes-
.6.
Music (n): The therapy coming through my speakers
.7.
I refuse to cry over you anymore Yes, I still care To be honest, I think I'll always care But lifes too short, and I'm going to do my best to be happy, with or without you
.8.
& now you decide to push me away? Don't bother I'm walking Youjustlostmeforever
.9.
Life doesn't give you people you want, it gives you the people you need to help you, to .hurt.you., to love you, to leaveyou, to make you into the person ([you were meant to be])
.10.
A stumble may prevent a fall +English Proverb+
.11.
I miss how you never .gave.a.shit. but you always seemed to care I miss the way you would be such a dick, but you were somehow always there I miss how we talked for hours on end, but most of all more than anything I miss being just friends
.12.
I guess I never let you go because in the back of my mind I still believe someday we'll get our secondchance
.13.
It's wierd how you say that you H A T E the boy who brokeyourheart yet when he runs back to you your arms are wide open
.14.
Tell me that you love me Tell me that you care Even if you're lying That's what I need to hear
.15.
Maybe it's the way we can finally stand on our own You know? To hurt each other so much that we have no choice but to letgo maybe otherwise we never would
So far this is all I can do, sorry Oh & I don't know when my next update's gonna be
Here's my next entry, sorry it took so long... gosh so many people have birthdays this week
HAPPY B-DAY SARAH & JORDAN & everybody else
.1.
My lips they tremble from the silence but I'd rather chew on razorblades than say the words Iwannasay
.2.
It's like all of the bad stuff that you went through, that you hated along the way; the people who disappointed you, the things that didn't go the way you wanted; suddenly you feel grateful for them, because those are the things that got you here, to this - the perfect man
.3.
And I'm SORRY for the things I said I just want to be us again
.4.
Grim? Oh thank goodness it's only you. It's ok everyone, it's only death. *Billy & Mandy*
.5.
With friendship it doesnt matter how long you have known them or how many fights you have been in all that matters is who said 'they would be there in the end' and who.proved.it
.6.
Sometimes you have to stop chasing a dream and let it catch you
.7.
It took me an eternity to ask you that question But it only took you a second to shatter every inch of hope I had
.8.
Maybe I'm a little bit over my head I come undone at the things you said
.9.
Sometimes when I see you in the halls & we act like nothing is going on I just want you to push me up against the locker & kiss me
.10.
It doesn't matter who you are, you're gonna take a loss [now and again] History has proved that even the awesomest of people have to get knocked down now and then It's the ability to bounce back that separates the donuts from the munchkins -theblackspiderman-
.11.
Under the streetlight, dancing by herself She waits for a car to stop, a star to fall Someonetochangeherlife
.12.
Hoping for the best but not holding my breath
.13.
I was blind But baby, now I see I broke your heart And now I know That I was being such a fool That I didn't deserve you *Jonas Brothers*
.14.
It's the worst feeling in the world to love&hate someone all at the same time And it's hard to watch things c.h.a.n.g.e when all you want is for them to stay the same
.15.
High school changes people Some for the better, Some for the worst but if one thing is true, you find out who your real friends are
.16.
Winter was never as cold as you I should've known you were never true I drink my coffee black (like your heart) Your harsh words are tearing me apart He whispered, "You never meant that much to me" I guess I was so blinded by happiness I couldn't see I slammed the door without saying goodbye Now I'm leaning against the wall, still wondering why
.17.
I'm pretty, but I'm not [beautiful] I sin but I'm not the DEViL I'm good,but I'm not an angel -Marilyn Monroe-
I will only complicate you Trust in me and fall as well
I couldn't go to the big game last night =[ I wonder who won?? Jimmy's a dick & guys are assholes
.1.
There's a shadow just behind me Shrouding every step I take making every promise empty pointing every finger at me Waiting like a stalking butler who upon the finger rests Murder now the path called "must we" just before the son has come Jesus, won't you fucking whistle something but the past and done? *Tool*
.2.
She wants someone to call her angel someone to put the light back in her eyes She's looking through the faces and unfamiliar places she needs someone to hear her when she cries
.3.
How do I feel about him?? Well, Iabsolutelypositivelydonotfreakinghaveanycluewhatsoever pretty much sums it up
.4.
Even after I've left, I can still feel your arms wrappedaroundme and you know, I'll remember that feeling for the rest of my life
.5.
I'm not afraid of heights, I'm afraid of [falling] I'm not afraid of the people around me, I'm just afraid of rejection I'm not scared of the dark, I'm scared of what's in it I'm not afraid to love, I'm just afraid of not being loved back && I'm not afraid to .try.again., I'm just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason
.6.
If you say he's different, then why did he break your heart like all the others?
.7.
I don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I don't know if I'll get up And I don't wanna cause a scene But I'm dying without your love I'm begging to hear your voice Tell me you love me too 'Cause I'd rather just be alone If I know that I can't have you *Jonas Brothers*
.8.
The most wasted day is one in which you didn't laugh
.9.
You don't recover from a night like this
.10.
He moved his hands to place them on either side of my face forcing me to meet his gaze He looked into my eyes for a long time I wondered what he was looking for & what it was that he found
.11.
A kiss is just a kiss until you find the one youlove A hug is just a hug until you find the one you're thinking of A dream is just a dream until you make it come true Love is justaword until it is proven to you
.12.
If we’re perfect for each other & if we’re meant.to.be with each other we will be with each other. Maybe not now or tomorrow but later & I can promise you that
.13.
I hate myself for needing this I love our twistedlittlemess I know it's wrong but it just feels right The taste of tears are .b.i.t.t.e.r.s.w.e.e.t. tonight
.14.
I wish I could just have some closure We ended so bad, and I just want to apologize
GRR; some rumors are going around school about stupid stuff that (of course) isn't true and of course everyone believes them ...the big rivalry game is tomorrow & I'm gonna wear the other teams colors just to see what happens [hopefully I won't get jumped or something] SUPERHERO DAY today was amazing, (but everyone kept on giving me wierd looks for some reason, lol) ...Yesterday on the bus me & Travis #2 (not the one I hate) talked & flirted with eachother & yeah we haven't done any of that ever before... he is so hott,, lol
.1.
If you have a dream, give it a chance to happen *Richard M. DeVos*
.2.
And all I can do is keep on telling you I want you, Ineedyou, but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you Now don't be sad... cause two out of three ain't bad
.3.
She covers her insecurities with make up She hides her f.e.a.r.s with the drugs She ignores reality when she bleeds And she fakes her happiness with the alcohol All so no one see's the mess she really is -fadingXmiseryXquotes-
.4.
I never liked heights but baby you make the fall look so appealing
.5.
I miss how you never gave a shit, but you always seemed to care. I miss the way you would be such a dick, but you were somehow always there. I miss how we talked, for hoursonend, but most of all, more than anything, I miss being just friends. -falling away1123-
.6.
You know someone is a true friend when they know everything about you and still manage to be seen in public with you
.7.
I don't want the stars&&the moon just someone to lay under them with
.8.
Stop pretending like you love me Stop pretending like you care Stop pretending like I mean something Because you've [never] been there
.9.
We tend to fall.in.love the same way we get sick; without wanting to, without believing it, againstourwill & unable to defendourselves And then we lose love the exact same way
.10.
I don't know what I want so don't ask me 'cause I'm still trying to figure it out
